Roommates’ sex stories never fail to entertain

Posted by Kristina Pham-Loo on Tuesday, Mar. 12 at 9:36 pm.

Many of us have walked in on someone doing it or saw something we never ever want to experience again. What you are about to read are students’ personal stories involving awkward sex encounters with their roommates. The names mentioned in these stories are changed for privacy reasons.

1). “I came home from a long day of school to eat some dinner, and I was like ‘Hey, can I PLEASE eat my soup real quick in here, then I’ll go to the study room?’ to my roommate. My roommate at the time always hung out with her boyfriend in the room, so I never got any alone time; she was like, ‘Yeah, sure.’ Then, I heated up my soup and sat at my desk and started eating. Like four minutes into it, I hear them start to mess around, and I was like ‘Ugh, oh god,’ and then I heard her go, ‘DON’T STICK YOUR FINGER IN MY BUTTHOLE.’ I then spit out my food and ran out of the room.”

2). “I had friends staying with me and we partied with people on the floor above me. It was my first time drinking four loko. I got drunk way to fast and pasted out earlier in the night. By the end of night, a few boys from  the floor above me got locked out so they stayed on my floor. and I had a few friends staying. I woke up in the middle of the night to weird noises and realize two of the girls started hooking up with one of the guys while everyone was sleeping. Since they were in the center they were using the people around them as cushioning for their activities. They ended up fighting over him while they were hooking up, and I woke up. Soon to realize one of the girls was Romanian and I could understand that she was cussing the other girl out. I looked over and could faintly see my roommate sitting and watching them.”

3).  “I was having a relaxing afternoon on Pinterest when I heard a huge bang from the floor above me. It came from my roommate’s room. I didn’t think twice because she’s always dropping things on the floor. One time a laptop dropped and all my picture frames came off my wall. Anyway  I kept hearing banging and stomping, and I’m like ‘Ugh, god here they go again’ It started to get really rowdy… Then I heard the door slam and intense footsteps. It didn’t really phase me, but then the footsteps were louder and more intense and I’m like ‘what’s going on?’ I had to leave because I thought they were doing weird things. When I  was about to walk out there was a smokey smell. My roommate opens my door, and the smell of a burnt candle came in with her. In the middle of doing it, their pillow caught on fire.”

4).  “In a frat, there was an empty room, a bed and the bed without a bed frame. It looked like the world had ended and we were survivors. A girl and I tried to go on an adventure and explore. Then we opened the door, and our house cat was in there. It was like a feral zombie cat or something trying to eat. I walked closer and find that my roommate was doing it doggy style with a girl while our house cat, was playing with her hair… Effile Tower?”

5). “My roommates and I had thrown a party one weekend when some girls we knew came in from out of town. They showed up with the gaggle of other friends invited and stayed until the late hours when things simmered down a bit. At this point, one of the girls and one of my roommates were up in his room doing god knows what. The other out-of-town friend decided it was time to leave and headed upstairs to grab the other one, who said she was only going to his room to hit the bong. The funny part is, I knew she had lied about that because my roommate and her friend had liked each other for a while despite having had sexual relations with the other one on a previous weekend. I sprinted to the third floor hoping to prevent what I knew would be a dramatic scene if she were to find what I knew was happening. Leaping to the landing just a few seconds after her, I casually diverted her to the balcony in order to give my roommate heads up that he need to wrap it up. Opening the door, I find that not only had I let the other girl onto the balcony with a window into his room, but they were having sex hanging from a pull-up bar attached to his closet. The ensuing drama lasted three hours before we were able to get them out and dead bolt the door behind them.”

6).  “It was a Tuesday night, and we were going to drink a little, so we ended up RAAAAAGINNNG at the 14th and Ferry townhouses — notoriously known that year — and my friend Chloe was like ‘OK. let’s just stick together.’ We wore beads, so we wouldn’t be forced to flash anyone. So around comes, like, 2 a.m. and our friend, Shaun and I are like ‘Where’s Chloe?’ We turn around and see her (backside) and our other friend in front of her. She flashed him her tits, and he gives her beads. They hysterically laugh and go into his room. The next morning, we came in to bring everyone breakfast, but when we walked in, the guy’s in his bed ass naked, Chloe is on his love seat only wearing her thong, two beads, tried to use a towel as a blanket and his TV was playing a surfing movie.”

7.) “At Sasquatch last year, my two roommates and I decided to share a tent. It was the second night; we had just got back from tripping out on how ugly Jack White is and how groovy the Roots were. Along the way we ran into several members of our group and a few other friends turning our campsite into the after party. Having not gotten good sleep the night before, I decided to go to bed earlier than the rest. Around 1 a.m. I woke up to heavy breathing and a swishing that sounded like a jogger wearing a polyester track suit. It turned out to be my roommates and two girls — pretty much having sex on top of me. I didn’t know whether to be disgusted and leave, or wait it out. I ended up being pushed out with drunk mumbles that I was a pervert after the girls realized a fifth body was in the tent. It wasn’t even my fault and I got the heat. Needless to say, I ended up sleeping in the back of the car of the rest of the festival. “

  • Me

    Haha I like the last one the most

  • lol

    haha me to

  • none ya

    the last one is hilarious

    • jenny

      I know right that was so funny