Eyal N. Danon, life coach and author, separates life into five stages in his book titled “The Principle of 18.” His idea is we move onto a different stage every 18 years with new goals. Although this principle often reflects career building, it also acts as a guide to this melodramatic and complex thing we call “life.” Listen, I’m no life coach nor am I a film critic, but I’ve learned movies make people feel understood. So if you’re looking for some clarity while reading Danon’s book, here’s a list of movies that capture what it might feel like to be in each stage of life.
“Everyone’s Hero” directed by Christopher Reeve, Colin Brady and Daniel St. Pierre
The Dreamer Stage (0-18 years)
The Dreamer Stage is all about fleshing out your wildest dreams. In a CNBC article, Danon mentions that it is important to “remember yourself as a Dreamer.” The biggest dreamer I know is definitely a kid named Yankee Irvin, a baseball enthusiast in the film “Everyone’s Hero”(2006). Half of you may have forgotten about this movie and the other half may be asking, “really, a children’s movie?” Although he’s small and extremely clumsy, Irvin aspires to be a baseball player and risks a lot to achieve his dreams. With a talking baseball and bat, Irvin embarks on a journey across the U.S. where he meets the raddest baseball players of the 30s like Babe Ruth and grows more into the athlete he dreams of becoming. If you’re looking to release some laughter and get back in touch with your childhood dreams, then this is the film for you.
“Someone Great” directed by Jennifer Kaytin Robinson
The Explorer Stage (18-36 years)
I couldn’t tell you how many times my sister and I have made 2 a.m. snack runs and put on “Someone Great”(2019) just to recite the movie line by line. I found this film in the midst of my very first heartbreak. I went looking for some sappy movie about heartache but to my surprise, I discovered profound love. Even during the scenes when I was expecting to feel bitterly disgusted by romance, I found myself falling more in love with it. More than that, a great appreciation for platonic intimacy is what makes this film so relatable. The Explorer Stage is a time to experiment and exhaust any opportunity that holds value. Jenny, played by Gina Rodriguez, does this by moving across the country to San Francisco from the Big Apple and leaving everything she knows behind including her two best friends and a 9 year relationship. With incredible humor, creativity and authenticity, this rom-com ingeniously captures what it’s like to experience great love and loss while chasing one’s dreams.
“Under the Same Moon” directed by Patricia Riggen
The Builder Stage (36-54 years)
According to Danon, The Builder Stage is all about “creating your empire.” When we read the word empire, most of us might picture a fortune, but success looks and feels different for everybody. Sometimes building an empire looks like immigrating to another country in pursuit of a better future just like Rosario, played by the one and only Kate de Castillo, does in “Under the Same Moon”(2007). On the other side of the coin, we see her son Carlos, played by Adrián Alonso Barona, stopping at nothing to reunite with his mother all the way from Mexico. Facing dangerous obstacles, coming across the kindness of strangers and delving into the unknown are all highlighted immigrant experiences. Warning: I had to mentally prepare myself for an emotional rollercoaster before watching this one. The last time I saw this at 9 years old, my mother held onto my arm while we cried and laughed simultaneously.
“Palm Springs” directed by Max Barbakow
The Mentor Stage (54-72 years)
Ever been stuck in an infinite time loop? Yeah, me neither. If I were to ever be though, I would appreciate a mentor like Nyles, played by Andy Samberg, who’s relived the same day for decades by the time Sarah, Cristin Milioti, gets trapped in a mysterious cave. No matter if they drive to Texas or make it to Equatorial Guinea, the minute they fall asleep they find themselves right back where it all started: “Palm Springs”(2020). Nyles could totally let Sarah carry on by herself, but he quickly finds himself guiding her through an existential crisis that only comes with being stuck in time. The Mentor Stage is all about building a commitment to helping those who need it most. He sticks with her through her failed escape plans, ridiculous but valid questions and even through her nothing-matters-so-let’s-crash-this-car-and-fly-airplanes phase. This iconic duo is a prime example of mentorship as they try to find meaning in the meaningless.
“Everything Everywhere All at Once” directed by Daniel Kwan
The Giver Stage (72-90 years)
The Giver Stage is all about taking a step back. This can mean looking back at The Dreamer Stage, dedicating oneself to a cause or interacting with younger generations in a meaningful way. “Everything Everywhere All at Once”(2022) is a reflection of all these things. With the fate of the world in the hands of an unexpected hero in an unexpected multiverse, there is nothing simple about the plot. But for the sake of simplicity, there exists a tragically raw mother-daughter relationship in the midst of all the chaos. We see Evelyn Quan, played by Michelle Yeoh who grew up differently than her daughter. Joy, played by Stephanie Hsu, attempts to stitch their connection back together. To love someone unconditionally and not like them is a unique feeling portrayed in this immensely creative and quite hilarious sci-fi film.
The 5 stages of life are meant to ignite the best version of ourselves according to our values and dreams. Even though they act as a guide, there is no right way to live. At the end of the day, you still have to figure out what you really want for yourself. The art of cinema can resonate with people and help them feel a bit more grounded in this carnival of life. If you’re anything like me, you go to the movie theater in hopes of coming out feeling a bit more understood. No matter what stage you are in, you can take a look at these films and find hope for the future or nostalgia for the past.
