Opinion: My definitive guide to who should sit where and why.
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With sun and school both out for the summer, now is as good of a time as any to plan a trip with friends. While coordinating dates and booking the Airbnb might take precedence, the drives to-and-from your group’s destination will set the tone for the entire trip. Each passenger has the potential to contribute positively to the energy of the car. However, placing a person in the improper seat can put a vacation off to a rocky start. Here is my definitive guide to who should ride where in order to cultivate the most positive road trip experience.
The Driver
As the only person in the car with any serious responsibility, the role of the driver should be chosen with great care. The lives of the passengers rest on their shoulders, but even heavier is the weight of their judgmental eyes. Each passenger has a different idea of what correct driving looks like — how many miles over the speed limit a driver should go, how closely they should tailgate each car and when they should start braking at a stop light.
It is more likely than not that at some point a passenger will shout, “Watch for the pedestrian!” or, “That’s a red!” from the back seat. When this happens, someone ill-suited for the driver role may bristle defensively or angrily retort. However, the ideal driver will remain cool and calm even under stressful circumstances.
The ideal driver is also confident behind the wheel and knowledgeable of the rules of the road. They are assertive but not prone to road rage. They do not feel the need to yell at the other drivers or narrate the happenings beyond the car. A good driver is someone who can follow the conversation of the car without losing focus on the task at hand. Hopefully, passengers know that the best and most qualified driver has been elected for the job. If this is the case, they should keep back seat driving to a minimum. And please, passengers, don’t hold on to the ceiling handle. Nobody likes that.
Shotgun
The role of shotgun is often given to the person who yells, “Shotgun!” the quickest and most emphatically. This person is often loud, extroverted and very comfortable with the group, likely the driver’s best friend or significant other. However, they are too attention-seeking to take the passenger seat, a position that should be given to a quieter and more intuitive personality. The person most suited for shotgun is the person most likely to cede the position and will need encouragement from the group in order to take it.
In the back seat, a quieter individual will likely go unnoticed as driver and shotgun monopolize the conversation. Worse still, a too-extroverted shotgun might blast music so loud that a quieter voice will have no chance of being heard. The shy party resents the two in the front seat while the front seaters feel guilty and responsible for the fact that the person or people in the back are not being included.
Up front, a quieter individual is more at the center of conversation, giving them the perfect opportunity in which to thrive. Their selfless nature may allow them to better intuit the needs of others in the car as well.
Shotgun should be someone who will ask those in the back if they are at an ideal temperature and what songs they wish to add to the driving playlist. Most importantly, shotgun must also look after the needs of the driver. Are they hungry? Thirsty? The driver may need help accessing what they need in order to be most comfortable. The driver and shotgun should have a trusting relationship, but they should not be too close or they too will monopolize the conversation. The only exception to this rule is if one has a crush on the other or if the two are engaged in a flirtationship of sorts. Not only will this allow the two an opportunity for prolonged and intimate conversation, but eavesdropping on the two will entertain the remaining passengers.
Back Seat
Whoever yelled shotgun on the way to the car? Straight to the back seat they go. While a shy and sensitive type might go unnoticed in the backseat, a strong personality will demand attention. While the role of backseat rider might appear unimportant, an assertive passenger can best advocate for those in the back. It is best to have someone who will tell those upfront if the music is too loud, the air is too stuffy or if the driver and passenger are monopolizing the conversation.
No one wants to ride in a car where half of the passengers are unengaged. Even in the best case scenario this can lead to an uncomfortable road trip experience. In the worst case scenario, this negative energy can bleed into the trip that y’all have planned together. In order to best engage the car, the most talkative member of the group should be placed either in the middle seat or on the opposite side of the car from the person riding shotgun. The person riding shotgun can more easily turn their body towards these two people and therefore will be more likely to converse with them. The physical distance between the parties will make it easy for the remaining people in the car to feel included in the conversation.
If there are four or five members of the car, those who do not cleanly fit into one of the three designated roles will also file in the back. It is up to the whole car to make sure that these people feel properly included. Although they might not have as clear of a role, they too contribute to the energy of the car ride. They can and should have more minor jobs such as snack holder and the person who says, “Cow!” every time the car passes a cow.
With these guidelines in mind, I hope that everyone will be cognizant of the roles each position plays during a car ride and what personality is best suited for each one. Before someone shouts, “Shotgun,” have a discussion with your friends about seating arrangements during the drive. Take a look at yourself and decide; are you a driver at heart? Or will you best thrive in a different role? Remember that everyone has a job to do, and wherever you sit, make sure to take into account the needs of the others in the car. Happy road tripping!
