As “UC Oregon,” the University of Oregon has a fair share of Bay Areans who will likely return home for the spring. Some of y’all may have tickets for Outside Lands. If not and you’re still trying to go, good luck affording rent next year, but if so, here are some of the hottest acts to see at the Bay Area’s biggest music festival.
Go see:
D’Angelo. He’ll probably flake and be replaced by someone like Eminem, which is a shame, because he’s a strong candidate for the title of funkiest man alive. Come just for “Sugah Daddy.”
Elton John. Elton John is the wildest, queerest, most theatrical man in rock–and he entirely makes up for the booking of Sam Smith, the most self-hating gay pop star since Little Richard. 10 points for every bro you spot rapping “Super Rich Kids” to “Bennie & The Jets.”
Odesza. Wanna chill out late in the night? After presumably descending from a spaceship shaped like a swan, Seattle’s sweetest, smoothest chillwave duo will touch down in Golden Gate Park and vibrate you to your core.
St. Vincent. Annie Clark is maybe indie rock’s best guitarist, and she matches her skills at the fretboard with her sheer, scary confidence onstage.
Unknown Mortal Orchestra. For all the gearheads out there. Their recent work has leaned more towards generic indie-synthpop, but they’re still one of the best power trios in modern rock. 
Honorable Mentions:
Dan Deacon. The wildest man in electro comes to Outside Lands, fresh off the most normal album of his career. Still, he might play something from Spiderman of the Rings. Shout “Crystal Cat” as loud as you can!
Kendrick Lamar. I mean, come on, he’s the Tupac of his generation.
Mac DeMarco. Maybe he’ll stick his thumb up his butt. Maybe.
Tame Impala. Though their new singles lean towards generic ’80s pastiche, they’re a hell of a band as long as they stick to the classic-leaning psych of their first two albums.
Toro Y Moi – Though Chaz Bundick doesn’t usually play long, he’s never written a bad song, and you’re guaranteed at least twenty minutes worth of the best pop music of the last five years.
Don’t bother:
Billy Idol. 10 bucks he’ll say something absolutely awful to a female member of the audience.
G-Eazy. Macklemore was at Outside Lands last year. Buy a time machine.
RL Grime. Not actual grime.
Sam Smith. Unless you’re trying to fall asleep at the park and get carried off by security.