There are a lot of things we don’t know — or bother to find out — about the people we bump into every day. They become background characters in our lives, undeveloped extras. But imagine the things you’d discover if you sat them down for a conversation. Maybe your mechanic is devoted to ballet; the girl who sits next to you on the bus is actually a math savant; that librarian at Knight might be related to Matt Damon. Or perhaps the guy checking out your groceries at Safeway happens to be one of the best funk drummers in Eugene.
Sam Fox Hayward is a cashier at the Safeway store on 18^th and Pearl, working on moving up to customer service. However, on Tuesdays and Thursdays he attends Lane Community College, studying audio engineering. And as often as he can fit it in, Hayward is practicing with his band, Soul Vibrator.
I asked Hayward about the band name. He chuckles. “There’s the obvious sexual implication there and that’s usually what a lot of people try to focus on, as opposed to the concept of vibrating souls with music.”
Hayward has been vibrating souls for a while. He’s had an extensive background of music growing up. His parents being “wanna-be Dead Heads” back in the ’60s, he was raised surrounded by music. “Grateful Dead’s in there, The Beatles are in there, Bob Dylan, Neil Young…” The list went on. Safe to say he’s had a wide spectrum of music present for as long as he can remember.
I spoke with Hayward for a while about the band’s recent tour following the release of their album. “It was crazy being on the road … it’s hard to spend ten days with anyone … But as far as seven people to do that with, you know, I could see myself living with any of these guys.” Hayward has been with the band since August 2013, and he’s only gotten closer to what appears to be an infinitely multiplying group of dudes.
Hayward talked passionately about their ambitions as a band, “We are constantly pushing for bigger opportunities.” But for the time being, they’re taking what they can get. “Anywhere from dive bars to, uh, we played a Mexican restaurant.”
But the band is only a piece of the Sam Fox Hayward puzzle. “There’s three healthy thirds of my life. Well, I guess four…There’s school, work at Safeway, work with the band, and then seeing my lovely girlfriend.” Hayward struggled with motivation in school initially; it just wasn’t something he wanted to be doing. We talked about his regrets over that and the way he handled it with his parents. “I didn’t want to be in school but I was too afraid to tell my parents … being honest would have been the best option.”
The balance in our school and work lives, between what we are passionate about and what we “have” to do, is something everybody struggles with. It’s a tough balance, but a necessary one in order to stay happy while keeping a roof over your head. Hayward summed it up eloquently. “My biggest anxiety is to find a way to reconcile my passions whilst making a living.”
Perhaps Safeway isn’t Hayward’s dream job, but it is a job. It’s a steady place of work with people who treat him well and are flexible regarding the schedule of a musician. Hayward has been there five years, and it doesn’t sound like he intends on leaving anytime soon. “There’s things that could be worse…I ain’t flipping burgers.”
My final, and frankly my deepest, curiosity was the rocking tuft of hair residing over Hayward’s upper lip. “I tried to celebrate a birthday party for it, his name is Javier … November 1, Javier is gonna have a third birthday, hopefully.”
Hayward left me with one final piece of wisdom to include: “My advice for any men who wish to have a moustache – don’t let anybody tell you it looks nasty; don’t let anybody tell you it looks gross, keep rolling with it. It’ll get bushy, it’ll get there.”
Whether he’s bagging up tomorrow evening’s dinner or locking down the rhythm section, I’ve got faith that Sam Fox Hayward will keep rolling with it as well.