October 19, 2015 saw the almost-simultaneous release of two world-wrecking viral videos: Drake’s “Hotline Bling” music video and the third trailer to the new Star Wars film, The Force Awakens. Both videos were endlessly retweeted, re-blogged, and re-touched as humorous GIFs; it’s safe to say they’ll define October 2015 in the annals of web culture. But which was the worthier meme? We watched the two videos side-by-side to find out.
 
“Hotline Bling” from Drake

 
The Force Awakens trailer from J.J. Abrams, et al

ACTING
Winner: Drake. To work for a phone-sex hotline like the girls in the “Hotline Bling” video, you need to be pretty great at pretending the creep on the other end of the line is giving you pleasure. To be in a Star Wars movie, you just have to ham it up, and The Force Awakens delivers with laboriously delivered lines like, “I’m no one” and “NOTHING WILL STAND IN OUR WAY!!”
HAIR
Winner: Star Wars. Drake’s beard is a nice, rugged touch, and his backup dancers are pristinely coiffed. But none of them can compare to Chewbacca, whose wool is immaculate as ever.
LIGHTSABER SKILLS
Winner: Tie. We see a lot of people preparing to battle each other with lightsabers in the Force Awakens trailer – but no actual action. Drake doesn’t have one in “Hotline Bling,” but insert one digitally and you’ll see his footwork is on fleek.
MEME-ABILITY
Winner: Drake. Sure, someone added Jar Jar Binks to the Force Awakens trailer, and there are still plenty of jokes floating around about Kylo Ren’s lightsaber crossguard. But it’s nowhere near meme-able enough to merit an A to fucking Z of “best memes,” as Drake’s did.
MUSIC
Winner: Drake. “Hotline Bling” isn’t Drake’s best song, but at least it’s better than the god-awful imitation of Trent Reznor’s Social Network score that opens the Force Awakens trailer. Come on, John Williams, you’re better than this.
POTENTIAL TO PISS OFF BIGOTS
Winner: Star Wars. Racists on social media have taken to boycotting Star Wars for being “anti-white” just because it has a black lead. And any movie that makes privileged bigots think they’re being “attacked” is clearly doing something right (see also: Mad Max: Fury Road).
SPECIAL EFFECTS
Winner: Star Wars. Anyone can find a neon room to dance in. It takes a lot of time and money to make a fleet of X-wings rocket through space. Still, props to Drake and Director X for only using probably, like, six hundred dollars of their enormous budget.
Overall winner: Tie. Both videos leave a lot to be desired. We’d like to see a few more aliens and lightsaber battles from the Star Wars trailer, and the world’s biggest rapper could afford to do a lot more in the video for his latest number-one hit than just dance around. But both have everything they need to take over the Internet. Star Wars has nostalgia appeal and awe-inspiring space battles, while Drake has catchy earworms and dance moves so un-slick they’re slick.
For now, Star Wars and Drake are tied in the race for viral supremacy. Let’s just see if The Force Awakens will be as good as Views From The 6.