ABC’s producers managed to make all our dreams come true this week by combining The Bachelor with one of our favorite talk show hosts, Jimmy Kimmel, as he crashed Chris’s dating parade.
This situation was as if America sent in a representative of what we’re all thinking at home. Not only did Kimmel give insightful dating advice but he also called the ladies (and Chris) out on how many times they called things (moments, Chris’s jaw line, the free booze) amazing.
Just call Kimmel cupid as he sticks around for the week, both planning and invading dates, which meant that he was there to do things his way. What’s Kimmel’s idea of a date? He sent Chris and Kaitlyn to the romantic island of Costco to shop and later have the couple prepare dinner for him. This led to Chris and Kaitlyn making out in a giant blow up ball in an aisle of the store. Of course. That’s what I end up doing whenever I go to pick up a rotisserie chicken too. *Cut away to Kimmel drinking champagne in the Costco parking lot — all hail.*
A group date with just about everyone and their mother was next on Kimmel’s checklist he liked to call a “Hoedown Throw-down . The competition included a relay of “farm activities” because ABC still doesn’t think its audience knows what people do on farms. Shucking corn, milking goats and then proceeding to drink that milk were a few of my favorites — especially when lactose-intolerant Carly literally put her life on the line to be crowned winner.
Later, a square dance of everyone making out with Chris ensued, leaving all the women distraught and jealous, as if this came to an actual shock to them. Except for Becca, who wants to drag out her stay on the show for as long as possible, making Chris wait to kiss her. Looks like Becca may have the ball because soon after, she got the date rose.
Jimmy seemed to favor Whitney much more on her one-on-one date with Chris, as he sent them to a winery. Then Whitney, in all pink, showed Chris her spontaneity by deciding to crash a wedding on their date. Just when I thought my clever-o-meter was at its breaking point, a pool party with all of the women and Chris led Jade to ask Chris for a tour of his place on the estate, which led to another three-minute, up-close-and-too-personal make-out session.
“Why didn’t I think of that?! Screamed everyone, myself and probably Jimmy Kimmel.”
A few more of the “who’s that?” contestants were weeded out during the rose ceremony; Amber, Tracy and Trina were cut from the cob. Leaving us Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Megan, Becca, Britt, Jillian, Nikki, Ashley S. (who we didn’t see much of this week because she was busy fighting off more zombies) and the spotlight of the week … Ashley I. (the virgin who we will be seeing more of since she almost fell off the roof forcefully making out with Chris).
*Cut away to Kimmel driving off into the night holding The Amazing Jar — his work here is done.*
You’ve never seen an episode quite like this. It’s time for #KimmelOnTheBachelor! pic.twitter.com/H2jXf1WQ68
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 20, 2015
Chris and Whitney right now #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/F7kMVzoq1G
— Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) January 20, 2015
“Remember how we kissed? Well, why are you kissing everybody else?” – girl who burns down your apartment complex #TheBachelor
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) January 20, 2015
Don’t cry, Ashley! Your Kardashian Face: Pool Party Edition will smudge. #theBachelor
— People magazine (@peoplemag) January 20, 2015