As Homo sapiens, we like to have choices. Some wise, old (and now dead) dude once said “the choices we make define ourselves.” Or something like that. These self-defining choices can be as important as the next President of the United States or as mundane as how students choose to go class. Because I am in my first-ever anthropology class, I am an expert in the field of the cultural breakdown of the modes of transportation students use in college campuses everywhere. I have stepped off the veranda and plunged deep into the traffic makeups of the University. In my field work, I have come to realize that a student is defined by their mode of transportation.
First, I will explain the lifestyle of the Car Drivers. Those with cars are the minority, but those without cars consider them royalty. The Car Drivers have the most efficient means of mobility. They can drive to the store in a fourth of the time it takes a Walker to walk and half the time for a Bicyclist to bike. They have optimal storage space for not only material goods, but people as well. On top of being the most useful, all non-car drivers consider them the most deadly. One blow by a Car can end a life at the drop of a hat. For this reason, students are cautioned to watch for Cars. Students often ignore the advice because they know Cars would never intentionally hurt their subjects. Although Cars aren’t afraid to hurry non-drivers along by inching dangerously close to them. As mentioned above, Bicyclists are the subject of loathing to the car driver. I spent some of my fieldwork in one of these Cars to gain insight. My conclusion: cars must share their domain that is the Road with them. Because Cars are considered royalty, they do not like to share the road with their subjects and bicyclists are their subjects.
Next, I will delve into what appears to be the most despised of classes in Transportaria: the Skateboarder/Longboarder. In my observations of this class of Transportaria, they are predominantly male. Although there have been sightings of females on these wooden planks on wheels, they are few and rare. The males who utilize this mode of transportation weave through throngs of people or some scattered individuals. They appear to take some sort of pleasure in cutting people off by carving in front of other students. This act is frowned upon and considered rude to the other students. In fact, it is not uncommon for this particular group of males to be referred to as “douches”. People on all other modes of transportation, with the exception of fellow boarders seem to either dislike them or find them annoying.
The third class of Student Transportaria is bicyclists. Bicyclists move faster and more consistently than skateboarders/longboarders and are also seen as a form of cardio exercise. Bicyclists are the second largest population, behind Walkers. In my observations of bicyclists, they become annoyed with skateboarders because they must come to an abrupt halt when cut off by one in order to avoid an accident. Student Bicyclists avoid certain courtesies practices by their exercise counter-parts. For instance, when an Exercise Bicyclists approaches a walker from behind, they call out which side they are about to pass the walker on. Student Bicyclists merely surprise Walkers with their presence by riding around them. The Student Bicyclist also shows preference to ride on the narrow sidewalks that are crowded with students. Although Walkers find them annoying, they tolerate their presence because Walkers may also have a bike and choose not to use it. However, Bicyclists of both classes are the object of loathing by Cars.
The final type of student transportation is the Walkers. The Walkers hold the majority and are the group I spent the most of my time studying. The Walkers are the only group in the entire student transportation class system to have problem not only with other types but within themselves as well. Walkers are not allowed on the Road. If a walker were to try to walk along the Road, they are fined heavily and society will refuse to be seen around them. The only time Walkers are allowed to step foot on the Road is to cross to the other side. Walkers are strictly kept to the sidewalks and walking paths. I find that it is in this restriction where the friction within the class arises. Walkers, along with the rest of the classes move at different paces and like to multi-task. When I say multi-task, what really mean is text. Walkers are technically the slowest of the classes in terms of mobility, hence their bottom-of-the-pyramid placement. Some Walkers walk faster than others and often become frustrated when they find themselves stuck behind slower walkers. Another branch of Walkers that tends to get on the average Walker’s nerves is — as mentioned before — the Texting Walkers. These Walkers are so engrossed with the message they are punching into their portable telecommunication devices they often tune out their surroundings. They put one foot in front of the other, walking into the Road while Cars must swerve to avoid their loyal subjects. Other walkers try to walk around them, being as they tend to walk slower, but are unable to due to the staggering line the Text Walkers walk in.
Even though the society I had the pleasure of studying is constantly at a silent war with each other, they surprisingly form a cohesive bunch. Aside from the oblivious few, all the classes have found a way to coexist in a form of harmony. Truly a remarkable people.