Annoyances, irritations, bellyaches – we’ve all got at least a few big ones. Whatever makes you cringe is usually pretty trivial, and yet it is reserved for only the darkest parts of your heart. For the example, my top-five, all-time pet peeves are: loud eaters, Ann Coulter, substandard drivers, wimpy music and studded tires. These five are all pretty understandable and generally go without much question; however, it is my bugbear with studded tires that I would most like to address.
People, citizens, drivers of Eugene, why does anyone use studded tires? It was snowy and icy like, what, five days this whole winter? Unless you go to the mountain, or live in some unusually high Eugene elevation, there is never, ever a time for studded tires in this city. We live in a freakin’ valley, people. How much snow and ice really settles here annually? According to Wikipedia, the greatest information Web site in the history of the Internet, Eugene is annually doused with about 30 inches of precipitation between November and February with an average low of no worse than 33-degrees Fahrenheit. Mathematics simply does not allow for much ice. Furthermore, it is officially spring – and gorgeous as of late – and the need for studded tires has drastically decreased, I promise you.
The empirical evidence provided should be enough to convince everyone why studded tires are the devil, but if science isn’t your cup of tea, then maybe logic will convince you. Let us start with noise pollution. How obnoxious is it to hear the aggravating, bone-shuddering crackle of steel pins on paved tar? Of the approximately 10 million sounds observed in the world, this has got to be the worst – aside from loud eating. This disgusting sound irritates everyone, whether you studded tire drivers are aware of it or not.
But if you happen to be a selfish ass and couldn’t care less of what other people think of your studded tires, then how about this: Have you noticed the amount of city road construction in Eugene lately? Work is being done throughout the city, and yet some busy residential roads like 19th Avenue are mangled and have been for an extended period of time. One Lane County Capital Budget overview for 2007 noted $13 million would be spent on road maintenance throughout the county’s 1,443 miles of road and 413 bridges. And yet with all that money, which isn’t as much as it used to be thanks to wonderful federal cuts, some Eugene roads look like they have not been surveyed since the Carter administration. Studded tires contribute to the county’s highway erosion and eventual demolition. They chew up and destroy roads because drivers refuse to change winter tires – assuming they were ever needed in the first place. Therefore, studded tires destroy roads, and those of us that are responsible enough to not use them end up paying taxes for road maintenance simply because you can’t drive in quasi-dangerous weather conditions. Drivers who are vehemently pro-studs quite frankly have no ground to bitch about the county’s cruddy road conditions.
So the wonders of studded tires include noise pollution, economic shortcomings, Eugene’s tame winters and poor drivers. And while this happens to be a personal pet peeve, there is no doubt that numerous others share my contempt. Shame on you, studded tire people. You are killing our roads, which is killing our wallets, which is in turn killing our souls. April is upon us, and if you still think you need studded tires, then you should definitely re-evaluate your privilege of having a driver’s license.
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