I am a self-proclaimed eavesdropper. Overhearing conversations is what I do. Maybe it’s a means to distract myself from my own, often critical, mental dialogue or possibly it’s the result of having far too much free time. Still, if I am traipsing around campus, then chances are I am overhearing your proximate conversation.
It’s not the content of your conversations, but rather how you communicate – the subtle nuances, gestures and diction – that really intrigues me. Frankly, overhearing you talk about your annoying teachers and difficult exams isn’t all that interesting. Listening to you talk about the “retarded” exam your “gay” instructor just subjected you to, however, is infuriating.
I could address the fact that your exam is actually incapable of mental capacities. I could question how and why your instructor’s sexual preference is relevant to the fact that he or she gave you that exam. But word etymology tells me that you are not using these terms literally, but as synonyms for all things negative.
Now, I wish I didn’t feel the need to address this issue. I did not think that many students of higher learning would have to be reminded of the fact that our words have a substantial effect on how we understand the world. I thought that everyone understood the detrimental effects of discrimination on a society. But apparently I do have to add this to my plentiful list of weekly gripes, because all too often I hear these pejoratives thrown around carelessly within conversations.
Now, this is not a matter of being politically correct; this is simply a part of being a decent human being. Just the fact that words like “gay” and “retarded” are used so often in such a negative context does not make it okay. Just the fact that you are not around anyone whom these terms directly refer to does not make it acceptable. It’s offensive and immoral. While I know that such colloquialisms were far more commonplace in our younger years, I believe that it is time to grow up, discard these inflammatory adjectives and correct those who continue to use them.
I see a few of you laugh when you hear the word “gay” or “retarded” being used as a substitute for all things stupid, bad, boring, annoying or frustrating because I assume that you actually find it to be funny. Perhaps you are an insensitive person, or maybe your parents just didn’t teach you any better. If this is the case, then let me suggest that you actually broaden your narrow, feeble horizons by meeting people who actually are homosexual or mentally handicapped and understanding their positive attributes. Do whatever you need to do in order to understand how very irrelevant these words are to your situation.
Most of you in this scenario, however, just snicker and shift around uncomfortably. You know just as well as I do how very inappropriate such references are, but you are reluctant to say anything. It’s understandable; you don’t want to appear uptight. Since these words are often used within a humorous context, objecting to them can be tricky. However, taking the initiative to correct this person by explaining how potentially damaging these references are is the right thing to do.
If you are using these words within the context of your dialogue, then chances are, you are probably not a bad person. Maybe you do not realize that you are trivializing a group of people. Perhaps, to you, this is just a normal adjective, no better or worse than “stupid.” However, it is important to understand that any time you throw these words into a conversation as synonyms for negativity, not only do you sound incredibly ignorant, you are most likely making many others around you – those who know better – uncomfortable. When people have the courage to correct you, do not regard them as uptight. Understand that they are simply being fair, ethical and respectful of the English language.
To reinforce such a negative connotation to a word connected to a group that has no control over its condition and likely struggle with it regularly is just plain wrong. Find a different word to use. Buy a Thesaurus if necessary. Whatever you do, stop contributing to such discriminatory language. It’s wrong.
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