Do you remember the ’80s, when environmentalism was code for dealing with toxic waste, stopping the clubbing of baby seals and protecting spotted owl habitat? Well, the spotted owls have taken roost in new-growth forests, the baby seals are a dead cliché, and addressing toxic and radioactive waste just never had the sex appeal of our new cause de decade – green, sustainable, zero emissions carbon sequestration. Sorry, Captain Planet.
While the sheer marketability of the new environmentalism may be its undoing, it is also the core of the plan. The whole idea of keeping the environment in a condition that will keep us alive means that we have to live in, wear, want, build and buy new stuff that will emit zero greenhouse gases. So, if this sexy marketing is really well done and we literally buy into a product cycle that is all that, then we will have achieved our goal simply by continuing to consume. It sounds a lot like President Bush compelling us to go shopping in late Sept. 2001, but really it’s the same logic – if we don’t buy “green” products, then global climate change has already won.
We can already recognize that we live in a changed world. The Golden Globes were canceled, and we can imagine a night without the Oscars. In light of these developments, we can see it is the time for the new environmentalists to intervene.
In fact, it has already begun. What I’m presenting to you now is a completely organic, sustainable, zero-emissions, locally grown alternative to the mass-marketed awards shows. So here it is. Based on their noteworthy achievements and performances, I am proud to present the Golden Carbon Sequestration Device Awards – formerly known as the Golden Tree Awards – given out to those who would give the appearance of doing something for the environment, but can’t for the fact that gold does not grow.
Energy is always near the top of the list, so here we go. The nominees are: The MidAmerican Nuclear Energy Company, Eugene Water and Electric Board, and the Oregon State Law requiring 10 percent ethanol in all gasoline.
Backed by Warren Buffet, MidAmerican scrapped plans to build a nuclear reactor on the Oregon-Idaho border. However, it wasn’t because they wanted to invest in wind or solar; it was because they couldn’t find cheap enough parts due to an upsurge in nuclear power’s new popularity. Also, another company, Alternate Energy Holdings, is still trying to fund a new reactor south of Boise, ID.
EWEB has decided not to include photovoltaic panels on its new operations complex. The company says that it is too costly, but earlier in the month they attended a neighborhood meeting to sell Eugene residents on the idea of investing in solar energy panels for their homes.
Oregon State Law now reads that by fall 2008 all gasoline sold in the state must be 10 percent ethanol. However, corn is still the main raw material for ethanol production, and the petrol and chemicals needed to grow the crop merely displace the carbon emissions and air pollution to elsewhere in the state or nation.
And so the GCSDA for energy goes to – EWEB! If it’s really a worthwhile investment, which I believe it is, then you’d better step up and help lead the way, otherwise you’re just selling us dirty product, giving only the façade of emissions change. On the other hand, rather than a GCSDA, a Breath of Fresh Air goes to Lucky Lab Brewing Company in Portland, which installed a solar thermal unit on the roof of its operation to help brew its beer. They plan to install units at their other locations as well.
In the emissions category we have two nominees – the Environmental Protection Agency and the United States. The EPA rejected a petition by Oregon and 16 other states to require tougher tailpipe emissions than federal law. Though several EPA staff members termed California’s petition “compelling and extraordinary,” the final official answer was that the petition in fact did not meet these “extraordinary conditions,” and that in effect requiring stricter standards would cramp the federal style.
In addition to failing to step up at the Bali Climate Talks in December, the U.S. is ranked a mere 39th out of 149 countries in terms of ability to manage its natural resources and control pollution – beneath all other G8 countries, based on the Yale and Columbia University ranking. The GCSDA for emissions goes to – the EPA! What a shocker! But on the flip side, another Breath of Fresh Air goes to Oregon Governor Kulongoski, for working with other western states and Canadian provinces to implement a regional cap-and-trade system to reduce greenhouse gases, possibly serving as a model or incentive for a federal, even international, program.
Stay tuned, we’ll be right back after this short break.
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Roll out the green carpet for awards
Daily Emerald
February 5, 2008
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