Jay Brock used to be afraid to dance.
He also used to be afraid to ask women out.
But Brock overcame his shyness and has since been living his life as a sleek dating machine. Now Brock wants to help men make the same transformation he did by sharing secrets in his book, “Don’t be Afraid to Dance: The Shy Man’s Guide to Dating and Sex.”
When examining any book of the self-help variety, it is important to ask what sort of authority the author has on the subject. Brock lays out numerous anecdotes to teach the reader by observing his successes and failures. If the man is telling the truth, then he’s got authority there.
Brock also puts himself out on a limb by providing mailing and e-mail addresses in the book so that readers can contact him with their own success stories. By leaving himself so open, he displays confidence and encourages trust. But really, a guy doesn’t need to be ‘Super Authority Man’ to give good advice. Sometimes it just helps to have someone else say what you already know to give you a kick in the butt.
Brock takes a very upfront tone with his writing, pointing out in the first paragraph that men are their own problem. He even says that there will be many women out there who aren’t interested even if men are doing things right. The point that Brock continuously asserts is that if you don’t try, you’ll never know, and that is a worse failure than rejection.
His little motivational phrase is: “He who hesitates, masturbates.”
To succeed in the Brock school of dating, one must be very meticulous. He encourages readers to keep a notebook of information in the book and events from their social activities. These can be gone over and examined for successes and failures to enforce and encourage learning. In addition to external notes, there are written exercises in the book after each chapter to make the reader put a personal grounding on the teachings. Exercises include things such as writing down three places that are always good to take a date or reasons to ask a date back to your place.
It is hard for some (like myself) to accept that men can be so cool and calculating in their pursuit of women. This is an issue of ethics, but it is easy to get knocked off your moral high-horse when Brock calls you on something that you have thought before: “When you first meet a girl and you are introduced, be sure to always look her in the eyes — don’t look down at her chest in the middle of saying hello! You can look at her chest later when she is not looking.” Guilty as charged.
When not looking at women, Brock wants guys to look at themselves. He spends the third chapter having the reader examine his appearance and determining what he needs to do to change it. He tells readers to buy new shoes more than once a year and keep a wardrobe that is in fashion.
However, he goes through this physical metamorphosis too fast and it is doubtful that it will have a great impact on the reader. But one good tip he comes up with is asking women to buy cologne for him as gifts. His logic: “Women know what smells good to women.” This guy is one cool puppy.
Money is an issue that is not dealt with well in the book, as it is only mentioned a few times. In these choice moments, taste is easily sacrificed for catchy phrases.
In less vulgar terms, guys (especially college guys) can’t afford to treat every date like it’s prom night. When facing facts, the honest truth is that effective dating is unavoidably expensive, so it becomes more important to select who the resources are spent on. Brock says that on a big first or second date, the man should buy his date something to remember the occasion, but he should be sure that this girl is a strong prospect for future romance — whatever your definition is.
The best thing about this book is that it is short. The information is easily accessible and stays in your head (it has something to do with the rhyming phrases). It also makes it easier to, as Brock suggests, re-read chapters. The consequence of the book’s brevity is that it will not be enough to convince many shy people to change their dating habits. This book will most benefit someone who is confident in themselves as a person, but not so confident in their interactions with women. Also, the small size of the book does not encourage paying the $10 price for a paperback.
The last problem with the book is that more men are shy in their teen years, as Brock admits. But Brock also admits that parts of his book are inappropriate for underage readers.
The bottom line is that this book has some good things to say and will help many guys who would choose to read it. Also, the cover doesn’t make it look much like a dating book so the embarrassment factor of carrying it around will be minimal.
The book will be officially released May 1.