John Lennon once said, “All you need is love.” Whether this is true or not, love is something that shapes our lives. It affects how we eat, how we sleep and just generally how we feel about ourselves. Love allows us to live. It leaves us with memories that last our entire lives.
But what is love? Is it something we conjure up in our minds, or does it physically lie in our hands? There may not be one true definition. Instead, it depends on each individual to come up with their own.
John Lysaker, a philosophy professor, said he believes in love, but thinks that it is dependent on age and commitment.
“Early on, it is more based on a sort of courage or willingness to risk and open one’s self up to another,” he said. “It means something when we’re 16. It’s something different when you’re in the first year of a relationship, and it means something else when you’ve been with someone for 30 years.”
Often times, a love-like feeling is involved because people become infatuated with their mate quite easily, only to realize that they may have acted too quickly.
Chris Cocciolo, a freshman, experienced this firsthand. “When I was in a relationship, I thought I was in love, but then I realized it was just a lust thing,” he said. Even so, Cocciolo does believe in love at first sight.
“Some people just have a connection. I think when you see that person, you’ll know. It will be just like lightning strikes,” he said.
Not everyone believes that love at first sight is a good thing. Freshman Melissa Holloway said she believes there is more to love than physical attraction.
“When I think of love, it’s more feeling. It’s not only attraction, because communication is important in a relationship. Love at first sight is just more physical,” Holloway said.
People do not have to be in a long relationship to experience love. Many argue that there is a special person out there for everyone, and the trick to finding him or her is having patience.
“I think there’s that one person out there for us. One person that we’re meant to be with. I’m going to find her, and she’s going to find me, and it’s just a matter of faith,” Cocciolo said.
No matter how long a relationship lasts, emotions are heightened, especially if the people are in love.
“Love is a general umbrella term under which a lot of emotions can occur. They come to mean something different when we are in love,” Lysaker said. “Sometimes that’s anger and frustration. But there’s a special kind of anger and frustration that occurs under the context of love. If I love someone and they hurt me, it’s gonna hurt a lot more.”
Holloway agrees that love makes emotions more powerful.
“It’s just like your heart feels warm, and when you see that person, you light up. You just have mutual understandings and feelings. Both people have to be in love,” Holloway said.
Love can change over time, and the ability to renew interests with a significant other can help in a relationship. Lysaker said he feels that to be in love, sometimes elevating that person can help.
“The ability to marvel in the other person’s presence certainly helps. To be stunned every now and then, and then say ‘this is really an incredible person.’”