Hey everybody, it’s time to play “guess what rock star spent the better part of a plane flight last summer drunk, screaming and covered in yogurt!” Any ideas?
No, it wasn’t Marilyn Manson. It wasn’t the ghost of Keith Moon. And it sure as hell wasn’t Raffi. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big hand for … Peter Buck of R.E.M.!
At least, that’s what the opposing lawyers are saying about Buck in a trial currently taking place in London. According to press reports, British Airways is claiming that last April, during a flight from the United States to England, a drunken Buck had some poor, frightened stewardess bring him 15 glasses of wine. When the wise crew decided that Buck needed to be “cut off,” the guitar hero became irate and began screaming, breaking airline crockery (crockery? Damn him!), and tore up a “yellow card” warning from the pilot that informed him that if he kept his behavior up, the flight would be diverted. Oh yeah, they’re also claiming that he smeared yogurt all over himself. Sounds kinky to me.
Buck has pleaded not guilty to all the charges. More on what major news organizations are already calling “the Trial of the Century” when the information comes in.
OK, I know that I’ve managed to talk about Michael Jackson in every column so far this year. But that doesn’t mean I’m obsessed! Really, it doesn’t. Just because a man has nightly dreams about Michael, owns limited edition vinyl reissues of all of his 1970s albums, and watches “The Wiz” every day during dinner does not imply that he has an unhealthy fixation!
But seriously, my Jacko news this week is relevant and valid. You see, the King of Pop is going to direct a movie.
People who fear the end of the world is nigh are advised to quit reading at this point. However, if you can handle it, here are the details:
Jackson’s movie will be called “Home of the Angels,” which will be based on a book that he read a few years back.
According to a Rolling Stone interview with co-director Bryan Michael Stoller, “Angels” is about a young boy about eight years old. “He finds himself in and out of orphanages. It’s kind of ‘Stand By Me’ with a little bit of ‘Oliver.’ It’s sort of all about growing up, and who to trust, and him being afraid of trusting people because the people he cares about tend to go away.”
Wow. Sometimes this humorous music column just writes itself. My only advice to whatever idiot green-lighted this project is to provide barf bags at the concession stands.
On that delightful note, I’m out of here. Go buy the new live Radiohead album.
Dave Depper is the webmaster for the
Oregon Daily Emerald. He can be reached
at [email protected].