Morgan Siler and Lauren Ziegelasch dig into some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream at the Alder Street location, and talk about their friendship. But Siler, a senior humanities major, and Ziegelasch, a soon-to-be freshman at Sheldon High School, aren’t a typical couple of friends.
Siler and Ziegelasch met through Committed Partners for Youth, which provides mentoring services for Lane County adolescents who encounter social, familial or educational problems in their daily lives. The organization paired up Siler and Ziegelasch in April, and the match has been successful so far.
Well, that is, once the two got through the burning car crisis.
“The first time we got together, my car broke down, and it caught on fire,” Siler said, laughing at the inauspicious beginning to the mentoring relationship. While waiting for a tow truck, Siler and Ziegelasch sat on the curb — again eating ice cream — and just relaxed.
“That whole deal gave us a lot of time to sit down and chat, and get to know each other,” Siler said.
While stories about burning cars are likely uncommon within CPY, Executive Director Susie Walsh said similar bonding experiences between mentor and youth are quite common. In fact, the organization, which just recently celebrated its 10th anniversary, counts about 100 mentor-youth pairs being served.
“This mentor is taking time out of their lives and just doing it because — for no other reason,” Walsh said while talking about CPY in her office above the L&L Market on Willamette Street. “That’s when the kids start getting that feeling of wanting to give back to that other person, too, because they recognize the sacrifices that the mentor is making for them.
“When you get right down to it, taking the kids out the movies, going out for ice cream, hanging out, taking a walk in the park — those things can lead to outcomes such as kids getting along better with their families, better school attendance and improved grades.”
There are three separate programs under the CPY umbrella: Pathfinders is a middle school program, focused more on group work with the youths; Turnaround School is directed at the 11 to 18 age group and offers more individualized mentoring for the youths; and Bolder Options is geared toward at-risk youths and works on the youths’ individual goals through a running-athletic mentoring aspect, as well as through a skills building process.
Mentors don’t fit a specific mold, and Walsh said she is occasionally surprised at who shows up to become a mentor. Although most in the program have what she called a “liberal bent,” people still carry certain stereotypes about youths that invariably involve images of kids just hanging out at the Broadway mall, among other places.
Walsh recalled a timber broker who once came to her office and expressed frustration about how his tax dollars were being spent on delinquent youths. “I want to teach those kids some responsibility,” he told Walsh.
“The youth, however, taught the mentor so much more,” she said. “The mentor left the program with eyes as big as saucers. The mentor did make a difference, and it wasn’t his money, it was just him.”
The program is helping to fight some distressing issues in Lane County. According to the Lane County government’s Web site, lack of commitment to school and family conflict are two of the main risk factors that can lead to adolescent substance abuse, dropping out of school and delinquency.
Ziegelasch found out about CPY through a friend while participating in Turnaround School. Her grades weren’t so hot, and her attitude toward her mother and other adults was pretty bad. She entered a 31-day treatment program for behavioral problems late last year, and finished with that program in mid-January.
The 14-year-old, who enjoys expressing herself through art and talks about becoming a photojournalist one day, realized that she needed to make changes in her life in order to fulfill her dreams. Walsh’s organization has provided a positive foundation to help Ziegelasch build better interpersonal skills.
“I wanted a mentor because I want somebody to talk to about stuff, and someone to hang out with, someone older than me,” Ziegelasch said. With help from Siler, she has gone from staying out all night and not listening to her mother to winning back respect from adults around her.
Her best friend’s parents “didn’t like me for a little while,” Ziegelasch said, but now she has garnered their trust again. More importantly, Ziegelasch’s relationship with her mother has greatly improved. “I was pretty cruel to her,” Ziegelasch admitted.
And Siler recognizes that this mentoring relationship isn’t just about Ziegelasch’s growth as an adolescent, but her own growth as a person, as well. Following a year of study in Australia, Siler transferred to the University seven months ago in order to continue her higher education that started at the University of Colorado in Boulder. She joined CPY because she was looking for a new challenge.
“I wanted to build some bridges and relate to other people, so I don’t feel like I’m just a student at the U of O, but actually a part of something greater,” she said. “It doesn’t matter where you’re from or who your family is, we all encounter the same issues, the same struggles, and it’s nice to know that you can make friends who can help us through it, just know that we’re not alone.
“Lauren is awesome; I’m so lucky to have been paired up with her.”
Ziegelasch, who was born at Sacred Heart Medical Center and has lived in Eugene her entire life, hopes to one day experience the world beyond the Northwest. For now, however, she will get the most out of what is right in front of her.
“I’m getting a good friendship out of this mentoring relationship,” she said.