So the end of the year is here at last. It was a long, strange trip for sure, my friends. From unexpected pitfalls and a series of “the readers love me” and “the readers love me not” moments to the joy of talking to angry letter writers, I had a great run. I hope I did right by everyone. I certainly tried to engender discussion and get as many different viewpoints on the page as I could. I hope no one is too mad at me after this year, because I owe it all to you, the readers.
I wasn’t sure at first what to fill this space with, but then I realized there are three topics still digging at the back of my brain (or is that the crack I’ve been smoking? Ha ha.) and they almost provide a summary of my message. There is sort of a thread connecting the three, but I’ll let you pick that apart. The point is, be yourself, and get over yourself. Be true to what you… aww, forget it. Just read.
First, homosexuals cannot be “converted” by therapy to heterosexuality. I don’t care what some doctor-with-an-agenda thinks he found recently in some terribly skewed study. In all my dealings with human beings, I have experienced an enormous spectrum of sexuality. Some people may lie at one extreme or another of that spectrum, but most people are somewhere in the vast middle. Most people I know experience their sexuality in a much more fluid manner than the “nurture” version offered by proponents of these therapies. It seems that “nature” is involved along with “nurture,” and no one person experiences sexuality quite the same way.
It may be possible, then, to brainwash and threaten people into repressing their homosexual feelings and behaviors, but no one can be “fixed” or “cured,” whatever that might mean, by conversion therapies. All humans (even very conservative Christians who believe in these therapies) lust after and/or love other humans for many different reasons, and hardly any of those reasons are based on biblical dictates. Most humans’ desires are based on reality. So get over it, right wing.
Second, Eminem freakin’ rocks. I don’t care how unpopular this might make me with certain segments of my LGBTQ community. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation recently sent me a plea for money, along with some words taken out of context from an Eminem song. The words allegedly show that Eminem is a dirty, evil misogynist and gay-basher. I’m supposed to be outraged by these 10 or so words and give GLAAD money to stop Eminem. The problem is, I’ve actually listened to and read all of Eminem’s lyrics.
I’ve heard what Eminem says in context, and I think he’s brilliant. He is simultaneously skewering vicious, violent rap (and it’s acceptance in our society) while he’s performing it. He at once explodes America’s dark secrets (and its love affair with other people’s dark secrets) and participates in them. He mocks the hypocritical, shallow rock-star system while receiving its blessings. Eminem’s music is much richer than simply gay-bashing or woman-bashing, and people who can’t recognize this are either being stupid or disingenuous. So get over it, left wing.
Finally, why can’t the Greek system simply announce all of the values it really believes in and be proud of them? Let me say first that I know members of the Greek system, and I have no ill will against them. Many of them are good people whom I like. But I have problems with hypocritical elements of the system (to be fair, there are other organizations on campus that have the same problems, but none illustrate the point with such clarity). Out of one side of their mouth, fraternities and sororities say they’re about good, clean upstanding Americana. This image is legendary.
But then I have personally overheard more than one (but certainly not every) member describe the way Select 2000 is made fun of during drinking parties, and the way various “immoral” vices are considered the norm by some Greek members. I don’t know the names involved, but I spend my waking hours on campus, and I listen to interactions. I’ve seen more than one instance where a fraternity or sorority member has looked down on people who don’t embrace extracurricular excess. This image is maybe more legendary (although perhaps overblown by stereotype). And what further bothers me is that the Greek system can host boxing and gambling events and out-of-control shindigs, but because the events are for charity, it’s all OK. Somehow it’s still “clean living.”
Pardon me, but that’s a bunch of crap. The members that want to party like it’s 1999 should do so openly. The Greek system should decide which values it really endorses and purge the bad apples or accept them all. I mean, I’m all for raising money for charity. I don’t claim to be pure and untainted compared to fraternity or sorority members. But at least I accept and embrace what I do. I have pride in my behaviors, because I believe in them and can account for my actions in a moral framework.
I think that’s the real thread tying these items together and the message I’m comfortable leaving you with after this long and fruitful year: Get over it, hypocrites of all persuasions. We won’t have a real, productive “culture war” in this country until we all own up to the values we really believe in and the behaviors we act out. That’s part of Eminem’s message, it’s hidden in the way “conversion therapy” zealots want gays to repress their real identities, and I’ve seen it in Greek behavior.
Find out who you really are, and be it. And then have pride in it. Then we can all get down to the much-needed business of arguing about who we are as a society, what that means and what we do now.
Just don’t tell me your values don’t include your actions, because I won’t buy that crap for a second.
Peace and Joy,
Mike