Every day, after my shower that lasts about 10 minutes longer than it should, I sit down at my computer and prepare to multi-task. With one hand, I’m carefully lining my eyes with eyeliner while the other hand scrolls down the page of my favorite celebrity gossip Web site. Yeah, I suppose I should be looking in the 1mirror while I put a sharp pencil that close to my eyeball, but did you see what Britney was wearing to Mariah’s Grammy party?! It was like a train wreck; I couldn’t look away!
This how I begin every single day – catching up on the latest gossip while trying to convince myself that I look decent enough to be seen in public. Usually this forces me to rush to class, so much so that my boyfriend says to me, “Why don’t you just worry about getting ready, OK? Forget the gossip.”
I’m sorry, but that’s like telling an alcoholic “Why don’t you just go ahead and drink some water? Forget that bottle of Crown Royal – the one right there in front of you.” Sure, both the alcoholic and I know that life would be much better, we’d feel healthier and we’d laugh a little more if our vices were out of our lives. But it just isn’t that simple. Celebrity gossip is a part of my everyday life.
Yesterday, I was standing in line at Wal-Mart and overheard (read: polite way of saying “I was eavesdropping”) two college-aged men behind me. Shh. Listen:
“Oh, man!” said guy number one.
“What, dude?” replied guy number two.
Here I expected guy number two to come up with some light-bulb moment, you know, like a “I just understood what Jesus meant when he said ‘Let he without sin cast the first stone.’ We should stop judging everyone else and worry about ourselves. Gays need equal rights, too!” Unfortunately, this is what was said:
“Jessica’s ex-husband Nick is now dating Miss Kentucky. Aww, man. Look!” (Points at this week’s “Celebrity Living.”)
“Dude, I don’t give a fuck.”
“It’s just – so sad.”
I did everything in my power not to laugh out loud right there on the spot. It reminded me of conversations between me – Miss Pop-Culture-Princess – and my man – Mr. I-Hate-Anything-That-Has-To-Do-With-Celebrities-Especially-Talentless-Ones. But the fact that guy number one was on my side made me wonder: What the hell is it about celebrities that is so fascinating? Anymore, celebrity gossip is not just a girl thing. It’s a society thing.
With the bombardment of celebrity magazines at the checkout stands – let’s see, there’s “Us Weekly,” “People,” “Star,” “Celebrity Living Weekly,” “Life & Style,” “Inside TV,” “InTouch,” “OK!,” need I go on? – as well as the pop up of gossip blogs all over the Internet (e-mail me and I’ll tell you my juicy favorites!), it isn’t hard to see that celebrities have become a part of our everyday lives. But why?
P. David Marshall, author of “Celebrity and Power: Fame in Contemporary Culture,” thinks that it’s because we physically are drawn to identify ourselves with celebrities. He believes that society is at large “psychologically immature and thus are drawn to the magic of these larger-than-life personalities in the same way children identify with and implicitly trust their parents.”
“Celebrity Sells” author Hamish Pringle agrees, adding that celebrities are a valuable form of entertainment while also serving a larger purpose.
“Watching movies and TV shows featuring celebrities, reading about them in magazines and newspapers and logging onto their Web sites all provide great entertainment for millions of people,” he wrote. “But celebrities also fulfill a very valuable function as role models. In a sense, they are a very public form of human research and development, which people can use to make the best of their own appearance.”
The sad thing is, however, that the celebrities plastered all over these gossip magazines are not the ones we should be looking up to. There are the exceptions, such as Angelina Jolie. Although many might consider her a home wrecker, she is actually working really hard to open people’s eyes to the poverty that is in this world. But I don’t see “Us Weekly” headlines reading “Angelina Helps Others and So Should You,” but rather “Due May 2nd!” and “Angelina and the Kids Move in With Brad.” What are these headlines telling us about our priorities?
In general, talentless, immature and spoiled celebrities are the ones that make the cover stories (How many weeks in a row was Jessica Simpson plastered on the cover of “Us Weekly?” Holy frickin’ cow). From Simpson’s latest sexcapades to this week’s surprise divorce in Hollywood, celebrities really aren’t setting a good example for anyone. They’re simply living their own lives and celebrity gossip magazines bring we readers deep into the mess. I hate it. But I so love it.

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