Consider this the official petition to declare March Madness a national holiday.
As Americans, we work entirely too many hours for far too many consecutive days and, often, for far too little reward.
You want something rewarding?
How about those people in positions of authority (bosses or professors) in the world stop pretending people actually accomplish work in the next two weeks and give the people what they truly want.
Don’t make it so the guy who took a “sick day” has to dodge T.V. cameras during time-outs to avoid the view of his hypocritical boss.
And for the love of Dick Vitale, please don’t make us choose between that Friday afternoon class and all those intriguing second-round matchups.
Let’s end the suffering here and now – it’s time to just give in to the Madness.
A survey of a few local businesses revealed nothing groundbreaking – a few stern managers firmly declared that worker productivity, around this busy time, most certainly won’t drop.
In fact, each said, the only sign of any March Madness will be people wearing green and yellow in support of the team, and “occasionally” checking in on the score.
Riiight.
People really just don’t understand sports fanatics.
With CBS offering its March Madness On Demand, allowing fans to watch live games in a cubicle, now’s the time when the new “the boss is coming” warning signal needs to be developed.
According to Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., an outplacement consulting organization, “for every 13.5 minutes workers spend on the Internet watching March Madness games … the cost to employers in lost wages alone exceeds $237 million. Over the 16 days of the tournament that could reach as high as $3.8 billion.”
A few companies have taken a proactive approach by blocking CBS’ service; a frequently asked question on CBS’ Web site regarding the March Madness on Demand product is “How does our company block access?”
But that’s not going to stop the bickering surrounding office pools. These pools add up to millions of dollars each year, and much poring over matchups, records, stats, or researching who has the best uniforms and team colors in order to create that “killer bracket” and show what a brilliant sports mind and foresight one undoubtedly has.
There’s just so much thrill in saying “I told you so.”
Then we all hear that guy say, “I totally picked George Mason to reach the Final Four last year,” to which you must set him straight by letting him know that you picked all the final four teams including Florida’s title run.
And the bickering goes on and on, and when all is said and done, more is said than done.
I’ll bet that, in terms of productivity, the entire city of Eugene will effectively shut down on Friday afternoon when the Ducks take on Miami (Ohio) in Spokane, Wash.
I recall my high school teacher restructuring the syllabus, dragging in a television and then cursing under his breath when Utah held on for a two-point victory against the Ducks.
What a great time of year – it’s time we embrace it.
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