Look over there! By the EMU! On 13th Street! While you’re at it, check under your bed and in your closet – any place large enough to hide a body. That’s right; ASUO elections are back, and candidates are pulling out all the stops in this year’s voter free-for-all.
It’s appropriate that election season coincides with allergy season; itchy and annoyed are two words that effectively sum up my feelings about the whole process. And what better time to be confronted by a peppy, achievement-oriented student than when your eyes hurt and snot is running from your nose like tap water?
Last spring, my first at the University, I would groan each morning before setting off for class, knowing as I went that a slew of ASUO candidates – T-shirt toting cronies at their disposal – were laying in wait. It reeked of high school all over again. Avoiding direct eye contact is the key, I would tell myself, nearing the intersection of University Street and 13th Avenue, where the candidates would be waiting for me, like vultures tracking a wounded coyote through the desert.
And yet, one year later has found me one year wiser, so I’m willing to give this election business another chance. I mean, I couldn’t do the job these people are trying to do. My frustration over perceived trivialities in the process surely stems from some unconscious psychological angst within myself. I’ll have to work on that.
In the meantime, those elected to their positions will assume the role of correcting the student incidental fee, in addition to allocating the $800,000 budget surplus. Good luck, I say to them. Seriously, someone has to do it. The ASUO needs their help; aforementioned mishandlings of the budget merely indicate that new, more efficient leadership is needed.
Still, mustering up the energy to truly care is like listening to your grandpa talk about the 1940s, and then pretending that he doesn’t tell the some story every time you see him. In other words, it’s draining. This year’s student incidental fee for one student is $202 per term. That’s no small amount of money. But when you consider that enrollment at the University is around 20,000 (including 4,000 or so graduate students, who must pay the fee even if they have a full tuition waiver), and that it takes a dollar from each of us to raise the incidental fee, a heated debate over five dollars for a student club you’ve never heard of loses some of it’s luster.
And then there was this: Taped to the wall of an EMU restroom was a flyer. “Want change? The ‘Campaign for Change’ is anything but,” it said. It continued by criticizing executive candidates Sara Hamilton and Athan Papailiou, before concluding: “This is not leadership. Not integrity. Not change. Vote against Hamilton, Papailiou, and the Campaign for ‘Change.’” Responsible for the ad is a group called Students For Responsible Government (Oregon Chapter). An attack ad? In a student election? Really? Not only do the Students for “Responsible” Government lack morals, they have way too much time on their hands.
And then there are all these slates: Campaign for Change, Campus Improvement Movement, Pac-8 – I mean, Pac-8? That’s a hockey conference! I don’t trust any of them. Maybe it’s because of my deep-seeded hatred for “the man.” Maybe it’s because the Campaign for Change’s voter registration U-haul resembled the set of a low-budget porno. But these slates just seem to reinforce the notion that winning a student election is more about how many friends you have and how bright your T-shirts are, than they are about the innovation of ideas. There are plenty of reasons why an aspiring candidate might not have the resources to join a slate: Inexperience, low self-esteem and poor hygiene are just a few. All proved extremely detrimental at my high school prom. But I’m not going to overlook a candidate because they smell bad or don’t have friends.
The campaign is in full swing now. Many seats have been filled, and others have been filtered down to only the top candidates. Emily McLain and San SunOwen will take on Sara Hamilton and Athan Papailiou for ASUO president and vice-president. Among the issues that decide our next ASUO executives in the upcoming week will be student fees, textbooks and renewable energy. And then it will be over. Another election in the bag, we’ll all have to find ways to fill the void. Maybe we should start a support group. We’ll file it with the ASUO and ask for a $1,500 stipend. Fiscal responsibility is a beautiful thing.
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