The paternalism and cultural myopia of the food police is truly disturbing. Call yourself a pescetarian or vegetarian or a vegan or whatever you want, if that’s how you sleep better at night – if you’re otherwise haunted by the screaming visages of furry creatures every time you close your eyes. But keep it to yourself. For me, nothing helps me sleep better than a healthy helping of Dulce de Leche glazed ham.
And I am unrepentant.
Do not tell me that my omnivore tendencies are unhealthy or morally wrong or Neanderthal-like. Do not tell me that meat is murder. We have been eating meat since time immemorial, and meat holds a long tradition in practically every culture. The belief that we have progressed beyond a need for certain types of food is magnificently condescending.
Still, the food police are on the march. Along with certain trans-fat-laden foods, cities across the nation have banned, or are looking at banning, certain nouveau riche delicacies.
Chicago recently rankled French restaurant owners by banning foie gras in the city’s restaurants. Foie gras is a French delicacy of fattened duck or goose liver. It is produced by force feeding, or “gavaging,” ducks with corn grain for 10 to 12 days before the animal is eventually slaughtered.
I know what you think: Those poor ducks! Those poor, lamentable water fowl!
A lot of people think that force feeding ducks is excessively cruel – unless, I imagine, the duck is the UO’s erstwhile mascot Roboduck. That mechanized monstrosity deserves worse – perhaps a colonic of wasabi and chile paste.
But French cuisine without foie gras simply is not French cuisine. The great leaps in gastronomic greatness performed by the French was made, in large part, at the expense of animals. And the industry remains culturally significant because it is still based on dietary risks – from unpasteurized cheese to unfresh meat.
Food is not simply energy or nourishment; food is culture, whether it’s French foie gras or African goat blood. Believing that you are enlightened based on your diet of twigs and leaves is beyond laughable. Regardless, that’s often what the food police do. Vegetarians and vegans are paranoid, guilt-ridden people. They adhere to the Victorian belief that everything enjoyable is bad for you. This obsession with food within the veggie community is an ironic, modern-day mortification of the flesh.
As someone who eats meat, I don’t want to sound like a shill for factory farming. Anyone who thinks that factory farmed salmon, with its bright pink pallor and rubbery texture, tastes better and than its wild counterparts is a liar, or has no taste buds. Anybody who believes that factory farmed beef tastes better than open range, corn-fed beef is also a liar.
That is why I think people should see where their food comes from, so they can make informed decisions about their diets. People who choose to look the other way, though, are merely exercising their right to remain apathetic about the manner in which animals are slaughtered.
The food police are very real. Not only do they care about what you ingest, and are willing to outlaw food that displeases them, they want to transplant their food hang-ups on anyone with an appetite, at the expense of culture or taste. And I don’t think they understand the significance of this coercive tendency.
If I had my druthers, I’d outlaw any food that was not delicious. I won’t do that, however, because I don’t want to be accused of being the food police myself. We all need to have boundaries.
[email protected]