Tuesday’s article on hooking up was a great read – enjoyable, casual and without the daily depressions of war, politics and other important stuff (“Is ‘hooking up’ the new dating?” ODE May 1, 2007). But the most glaring cause of hooking up – whatever your definition of the term might be – was totally ignored: alcohol!
Booze, my friends and spit-swappers, is the real reason people hook up, not because commitment is scary and casual sexual encounters are fun, although those are both great reasons to hook up, too. Okay, sure, I’ll be frank with everyone: I rarely, if ever, hook up when I’m not intoxicated, and I’ll share with you why. For starters, I read somewhere that imbibing alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and trust me, it’s true. I regularly make very poor decisions – in the hooking up realm or otherwise – and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this one of the reasons y’all drink? Many female friends tell me they simply can’t hook up when sober because: a) they get too nervous b) they’re likely to regret the encounter less and c) peer pressure is brutal.
Now, before you jump to any conclusions, let me defend myself in saying that I am not a creep, I don’t hit on ladies with the assumption that I’m going to hook up, and I respect the ground on which women walk. I don’t sleaze on ladies, and I know exactly when to quit with dignity. But I also totally like making out. However, I get very nervous around attractive girls. I sweat uncontrollably via my nose. I blush. I stutter. I can’t look them in the eye. But saddle me up with a couple shots of “Jose” or a nice game of flip-cup and beer pong, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m the second sexiest man in the universe, only slightly trailing George Clooney.
Because of the wonderful effects (or consequences?) of booze, I can relax, socialize with women and be hysterically witty and charming despite my protruding belly and unfortunate body hair situation. I, as do many people, care less about my drawbacks whilst drinking, which in turn instantly makes me sexier. Confidence – note: not arrogance – is one of the sexiest attributes a person can have and, quite frankly, sometimes you need a drink or two to exude that confidence.
Even as I write this, my lady friend – who has become rather notorious for her drunken, meaningless, mid-bar hook ups – called me and informed me of her hooking up with the lead singer of a touring band last night, following an intense game of king’s cup. “Hooking up wouldn’t even have been an option if I was sober, but I just went crazy,” she said. “I don’t know anyone that hooks up sober.”
Too true. So while hooking up might be empowering or simply fun for some, the key ingredient to any good hook up, which might ultimately lead to dating, is alcohol. Now with Cinco de Mayo and – as I’ve been (possibly incorrectly) informed – National Make Out Day on Saturday, here’s your opportunity to gulp down some delicious tequila (only if you’re of legal age) and pucker-up for the hottie across the room.
Kamran Rouzpay is University student