In the spring of 1978, the Committee to Appoint Mallard Drake as University Duck (CAMUD) put a referendum on the Associated Students of the University of Oregon election ballot to “adopt the duck MALLARD DRAKE as the graphic symbol representing the University of Oregon Ducks.”
Mallard Drake, a creation of then-Emerald editorial cartoonist Steve Sandstrom, was a longer-billed rendition of Daffy Duck who was a “suave, intellectual all-round duck” and “also home-grown.” A passing vote of the referendum, which was backed by the Emerald staff, would have replaced Donald Duck with Mallard Drake as school mascot in the eyes of the students. Opposition came in the form of 11 students calling themselves the Retain Class in Your Bird committee (RCYB) who called Mallard “sleazy” and “loose.” CAMUD member Carl Bryant labeled the opposition activists “quasi-Californians who watch KATU Channel two.”
Mallard Drake’s run for school mascot was voted down, 1,068 to 590 with 173 no-response votes. More students voted in the mascot election than voted in the ASUO presidential primary election that year. In elections next spring, three decades after his first run, the University student body should again vote to make Mallard Drake the mascot of the University.
My hankering to instate a black duck as an ASUO symbol may be viewed as an attempt to soften the criticized institutional racism that flows like kegs of beer through the student government and University administration. This is not my reason. I am not going to partake in the inane amateur hours of debate that has occurred over the past two weeks in Senate meetings and in the Emerald because I, like Stephen Colbert, do not see color – I didn’t even realize Daffy Duck was black until my research for this column. The benefits of instating Mallard Drake as University Duck go far beyond color.
First of all, Mallard Drake sounds like a porn star name and we all know how cool porn stars are. Second, and perhaps more important to my case, a mascot replicating Daffy Duck could reverse years of mediocrity, symbolized by former mascot Donald. Donald is a great American who served his country proudly in World War II and was feared by cold-hearted enemies in his glory days (i.e. Hitler and Hirohito). Over the past five decades, however, Donald has become the brunt of ridicule by the likes of his nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie, chipmunks Chip and Dale and many more. Donald lost the dexterity that once made him fierce and can no longer earn respect. I suspect he has an alcohol problem. Daffy, on the other hand, is 100 percent University of Oregon material.
Daffy is a duck of many trades – salesman, cowboy, outlaw, hoops star and more. He was pompous as a youngster, but later humbled by the overshadowing stardom of Bugs Bunny. Coping with jealousy and a burnt ego ruffled Daffy’s feathers and made him a better duck for it. Today, he balances himself between a self-determined savvy businessman, team player and kind-hearted soul not afraid to show some grit and tenacity when necessary.
The Daffy naysayers and Disney perverts claim that Donald has more fight in him just because he’s always angry and spatters quasi-obscenities. Daffy proved he can stand web toe-to-web toe with Donald in the 1988 piano duel featured in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” (the greatest move ever). The duel ended in a draw. While Daffy fought with agility and wits, Donald allowed emotions to get the best of him and cowardly resorted to artillery and devil horns. Being angry without justification is a fundamental disability of growth in the University and I blame the hot-tempered example set by our mascot.
Daffy is better than Donald, but not quite good enough. Enter Mallard Drake, a sharp intellectual who don’t take no guff from no one no how. Vote Mallard Drake over Donald in next year’s ASUO elections. If you don’t, the Donald coddlers will call you a racist.
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