At age 20, studying to become a rabbi, Steve Greenberg was wracked with torment. He was studying to become a leader in a faith in which a man is supposed to marry a woman and they are supposed to procreate. But that wasn’t Greenberg’s path. At 20, he knew he was gay.
In a moment of desperation, he confessed to the aging Rabbi Rav Eliashuv that he was attracted to both men and women, to which the rabbi replied, “My dear one, you have twice the power of love. Use it carefully.”
For 15 years, Greenberg came to a quiet peace with his sexuality, but said that he didn’t come out publicly until age 35 – one week before the opening of Jerusalem Open House, the lesbian and gay center in the Holy City, which he helped found.
In a speech Thursday night in the Knight Library Browsing Room, Greenberg, the first openly gay Orthodox Rabbi, discussed how religion and sexuality influence some of the major political struggles today and presented his book “Wrestling with God and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition.”
The book contains theology and history mixed with personal history, Greenberg said, but also a step of hope. He believes that there is possibility for change and eventual acceptance of gays and lesbians in the Jewish community.
Part of that change is understanding that language is to open conversations and minds with multiple meanings rather than to limit with one interpretation, he said. Greenberg believes that no credible religious leader can claim complete understanding of biblical texts and that God was not hiding one intent, but many.
“Homophobia is one room in the hotel of hatred for women,” Greenberg said, explaining how both are reinforced within our society.
Historically, punishment for men was sexual penetration, making them more “women-like,” and hence dehumanizing women, Greenberg said. The modern, and milder, expression of the overlapping sexism and homophobia is through slang language used to express weakness.
Greenberg said that the most effective conclusion to this struggle for equal rights between gays and straights is to agree on a policy, like gay marriage and gay Rabbis, but disagree on the reasons.
“I am committed to a slower and more cautious process of change, which must always begin internally,” he said.