I should move to Poland.
Honestly, I can’t live without polls and rankings. They are my Buddha. They are my respirator. They keep me alive on those cold winter nights.
Without the Associated Press poll, I would have no idea how good my Ducks are. Without the BCS Rankings, I wouldn’t know who Oregon would play in the title game if it were this Thursday.
But they do play with your head, don’t they? Is Oregon seventh in the country, or eighth? Are the Ducks better than Washington? I thought they were. The USA Today/ ESPN Coaches’ Poll doesn’t think so, but the AP agrees with me.
So which one is right? Ask people in Eugene and they would say AP; head for Seattle and they’ll say USA Today/ESPN.
My question is, do we really need two national polls? The AP and USA Today/ESPN polls differ only slightly, and it only makes teams madder when they’re ranked higher in one poll. I suppose they keep both polls around for sports junkies like me, so we can sit around and complain that Oregon is ranked eighth in the USA Today /ESPN poll.
The preseason poll is by far the best of them all. USC, third in the country! Oregon State, 33rd! Oops.
The Oregon men’s basketball team is unranked going into the season, and they’ll use it as a motivating factor. Who knew a poll could have so much impact.
And please, don’t think that football is the only college sport to have polls. NCAA women’s soccer, for instance, has five — count them, five — different polls, none of them official. The golf teams have two polls each. The cross country teams have four different polls between the two of them.
Even different Web sites get in on the act. Check out incard.com/football to see how national college sports editors rank the football teams. Or see rivals.com for their take on the national rankings.
Maybe I should move to the South Pole.
Don’t you just love it when people rank professional sports? In Sports Illustrated’s new NBA preview issue, they have the Portland Trail Blazers ranked first in the league. Who, exactly, voted for that? Now the Blazers will have all the pressure on their shoulders. Couldn’t SI have picked the Lakers? Oh, I forgot, there’s nobody else in professional basketball.
Since the fantastic Subway Series just wrapped up, do you remember SI’s baseball preview? They had the Red Sox winning the World Series over Atlanta. Hmmm. Actually, SI only got three playoff teams right — the Yankees, Atlanta and the Mariners. That’s a .375 slugging percentage.
All right, all right, I’m going to pack my bags for the North Pole.
I would have to say that my favorite of the lot is the “Fan Poll.” This wonder of technology comes to you through the Internet and lets the average fan determine what’s right and wrong. Last week, the average fan decided that Sun Devil Stadium was the toughest place to play in the Pacific-10 Conference, on the Pac-10’s Web site. I think a 19-game winning streak at a certain nearby stadium might prove the average fan wrong.
The fans think the Rams will win the Super Bowl. The fans think the Ducks will go to the Rose Bowl. The fans think tonight’s Sportscenter Showcase should be a hockey game, Detroit at Washington (well, I do, anyway.)
On educk.com, where hot-headed Duck fans go when they want to vent, the fans thought Oregon was a “team of destiny” as opposed to “more lucky than good” or “a disaster awaiting.” Someone had fun coming up with that poll.
The Internet gave online trading to Wall Street, online shopping to business and the fan poll to sports. God bless technology.
So, when all is said and done, the polls really don’t mean that much unless you’re a sportscaster or a sportswriter.
Fughettaboutit. I’m staying right here in Eugene.