The Mills International Center hosted the second of four Global Views student-led discussions Thursday to promote different cultural perspectives. In a room packed with international students and University foreign-exchange students who have returned from abroad, the student panel presented its discussion topic: “Love Actually: Arranged Marriage vs. Love Marriage.”
“We wanted to cover important issues through the perspectives of students, not faculty,” said Mills International Center program manager Adriane Bolliger. “So we started a series on international topics which would be student-led through the voices of international students and study-abroad returnees who can bring to the panel their cultural experiences.”
The series, which discusses topics of politics, love, faith and culture, aims to broaden pre-conceived notions students may have about their differences between other cultures. The first Global Views forum Jan. 22 was called “The Obama Impact,” and examined the American election’s effects on the rest of the world.
Upcoming Global Views Events
Feb. 19: | “What is Faith?,” a discussion about the commonalities in modern beliefs and practices |
When: | Noon |
Where: | Mills International Center |
March 5: | “Dance with Me,” rhythms and movements from around the world |
When: | Noon |
Where: | Mills International Center |
“For our ‘Love Actually’ panel, so many people believe that arranged marriages are backwards and forced, or that women have no choice,” said Bolliger. “We wanted to emphasize that yes, people still do participate in arranged marriages, but it’s not what you’d think. A lot of the members have had parents who were in this situation and we discussed the concept of learning to love without the choice.”
Magid Shirzadegan, director of the International Student and Scholar Program, agrees. He helped coordinate the Global Views discussion and was pleased to see such an important cultural issue brought to light.
“A lot of us have been thinking about the transitions of arranged marriages to love. Coming to the U.S., there was a negative connotation with arranged marriages and I thought we should open it up to discussion,” said Shirzadegan.
Five international students led the discussion through the International Cultural Service Program, in which international students perform cultural service hours in exchange for a University scholarship. With home countries from China to South Africa, the students offered insight into how arranged marriages have been performed in their respective home countries as well as their personal opinions on the custom of marriage.
University junior Feruza Ashirova said that in her home country of Uzbekistan, the practice of arranged marriages exists because marriage creates the foundation of family, but it is not as strict of a practice as in other older traditions. For her, arranged marriages signify more freedom and happiness than what most of Western culture would think.
“Arranged marriage still carries the message of freedom of choice,” said Ashirova. “It’s not really a forced practice; if I didn’t like the person my parents introduced me to, then I wouldn’t have to marry him.”
For other people around the world, the freedom to choose whom to marry is not as simple. Nguyet Nguyen, a graduate student in her second year at the University, spoke of a personal experience that led her to regard marriage as a regretful institution. In the process of divorcing an arranged-marriage husband, Nguyen, who is from Vietnam, brought to light the unfortunate situations that many women find themselves in as they come of age in Vietnam.
“In theory, there’s no arranged marriage,” said Nguyen. “But in practice there is. There is so much pressure on women to marry. When I was in the process of divorce, my parents couldn’t understand. To them, I was lucky to get a husband that didn’t beat me or drink; they said I should have been happy to be with him. Invisible pressure exists as it’s just something you have to do. There isn’t much choice.”
Fellow panelist Germaine Gamiet, a second-year University graduate student, agrees that the implications of arranged marriages rest most heavily on women. Speaking about his home country of South Africa, he too acknowledged that arranged marriage is not always equal for both partners, but he recognizes how far his country has come.
“Sexism still does exist yet, as women’s rights are trumpeted but not always practiced,” Gamiet said. “However, since apartheid, there has been legalization of interracial marriages and the introduction of Western marriage practices, so the union of marriage has gained more respect.”
The Global Views forum allowed students to broaden their perspectives of marriage in other cultures by providing a variety of viewpoints from a culturally diverse panel.
The next Global Views event, “What is Faith?,” is Thursday at noon in the Mills International Center.
[email protected]