Cat McGraw will never forget her first National Coming Out Day rally.
Exactly 10 years ago, the then-freshman sat in the EMU Amphitheater and listened to students who identified as non-heterosexual stand at the microphone and tell intensely personal stories of coming out.
“I think I saw myself in those students who were able to speak in front of people and able to be out in front of people,” McGraw said.
McGraw, now the program assistant for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Educational and Support Services, believes that the experience inspired her to take pride in her sexuality and get involved with the LGBTQ Alliance on campus.
LGBTQ people and their allies observe National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11. Founded by three gay rights activists in 1988, National Coming Out Day is designed to provide a supportive environment for people to come out.
At the University, LGBTQ students celebrate National Coming Out Day with a full week of events to provide support to LGBTQ students and educate the University community about LGBTQ concerns.
For incoming freshmen who are LGBTQ-identified or questioning their sexuality, Coming Out Week allows them to experience a degree of openness and support they may not have enjoyed during high school.
Sophomore Vashti Selix grew up in the religious community of Wheaton, Ill., where gay people “didn’t really exist.” As a high school senior, she considered herself bisexual but kept it from her parents and most of her friends. When Selix started at the University, she met many students who were openly gay and lesbian.
“For the first time I felt comfortable in my own skin,” said Selix, the volunteer coordinator for the LGBTQ Alliance.
Sinjin Carey, the ASUO’s Gender and Sexual Diversity Advocate, had a similar experience upon first arriving on campus. Carey, like Selix, grew up in a conservative small town. He came out at 16 and often struggled with the lack of support at his school.
“High school was rough for me because their wasn’t a lot of acceptance. The University of Oregon gave me the resources and support to be who I am,” said Carey. “I’m proud of who I am and able to accept myself.”
Coming Out Week kicked off on Monday when the LGBTQ Alliance published a list in the Emerald of students, professors, alumni, and staff who wished to publicly identify themselves as LGBTQ or an ally of the community.
Most of the people who publish their names on the “Outlist” are already out. Many of them put their names on the list every year simply to affirm their identities as members of the LGBTQ community.
However, Kirista Trask, a co-director for the LGBTQ Alliance, emphasizes that there are some students who do come out for the first time during Coming Out Week.
“For a lot of students, the decision to come out is one of the scariest choices they can make,” said Trask. “Coming Out Week gives them a goal date to tell the people in their lives. For a lot of students, being on campus is the first time they’ve had the freedom to express their sexuality.”
The march and rally on Wednesday was a central event in Coming Out Week. Students from the LGBTQ Alliance met at Oregon Hall at 10:30 a.m. and marched to the EMU for a rally. The microphone was open to any students who wished to come out or recount their experiences of coming out.
Trask first participated in the rally in 2001, during her second year on campus.
“It was the first time I spoke to the public about being lesbian,” she said. “I talked about my sexuality a lot that year, and I think that it was really important to me coming to terms with it.”
Trask came out at 15, when she fell into a romantic relationship with a close female friend. Her mother, who is lesbian, told Trask it was much easier to be straight and urged her to reconsider being out. After that conversation, Trask spent the next four years in the closet.
After becoming seriously ill her freshman year of college and leaving school, Trask realized that in order to be true to herself she needed to face the issue of her sexuality. She returned to the University the next year openly lesbian, with a committed partner and her mother’s support.
Since then, Trask, who is now studying for her second bachelor’s degree in art, has dedicated much of her time at the University to the LGBTQ Alliance and educating the university’s straight population as a member of the outreach group, Bridges.
“Being out is being true to yourself,” Trask said. “This is not just about who you have sex with. This is about the most important person in your life — your spouse. The person you’re going to build a family with. It’s about your community. The people that are in your life. In being out you have the freedom to speak about your life in a very natural way.”
Coming Out Week will conclude with a dance party in the EMU Walnut Room, beginning at 9 p.m. It’s an opportunity for students who came out or reaffirmed being out during Coming Out Week to celebrate who they are.
For Selix, the best part of her coming out experience came two weeks before this school year started, when she finally worked up the courage to tell her mother.
“My mom was actually really supportive,” Selix said. “She told me that she loved me and was proud of me. When a parent says they’re proud of you, it means they’re not just tolerating you. They’re fully accepting you, and that’s a powerful statement. Now my mom and I might not talk about my relationships or my sexuality, but the option is always there.”
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Out & proud
Daily Emerald
October 14, 2009
Rena Lev-Bass
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