I make a perception check to see what’s around me.
Dungeon Master (DM): You hear the sound of goblins rushing toward you, roll the die to see if you can dodge an arrow shot at you. You dodge.
Me: I charge headlong into the goblins (a wise idea in my rogue’s leather armor) and attack.
DM: Make an attack roll. You hit. Make a damage roll. You hit the first goblin for seven points of damage. You die in a valiant but foolhardy rush into the goblin ranks.
This is the story of my life: “Dungeons and Dragons.”
The following image comes to mind: five nerds sitting around a table in one of their mother’s basements, hands greasy-orange from Cheetos, talking fast from overdoing the “Dew,” and standing up to declare which goblin they are attacking before rolling whatever D20 feels luckiest and praying to Ao for a natural 20.
This is pretty damn accurate.
I know because this is how I’ve spent the majority of the Saturdays in my 25-year-old life. I have adventured through the Forgotten Realms, Planescape, Ravenloft, and every homebaked Lord of the Rings clone campaign you could possibly think of. I have been the noble ranger, the Cleric of Lolth, the Paladin of Helm, the chaotic-neutral Fighter, the who-knows-what Fighter-Mage-Thief, and of course, the wily rogue.
It’s safe to say that I love me some “Dungeons and Dragons.” Even if it was just a dungeon that had a dragon in it, I would still be a fan. I’ve already told you of my propensity for Internet dating earlier this week, so why not bear my nerddom to you as well?
What I am not a fan of, however, is the stigma. I have no expectations that our rabble-rousing, law-breaking members of the football team will suddenly be uncool and we law-abiding nerds who politely stay indoors and frown on drinking and driving (unless it’s Mountain Dew) will for all intents and purposes remain as heralds to the kingdom of dorkdom.
Alas, D&D has been related to the occult, has felt the pressure of religious zealots, and has earned many a nerd an after-school wedgie.
I’m here to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing “uncool” about “Dungeons and Dragons.”
“Dungeons and Dragons” is a roleplaying game; what this is means is you take on the role of a character to varying degrees, and for the purposes of the game session, you are this person.
It’s a way for creative and imaginative people of all ages to express themselves, both in terms of creating content and in putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. The Dungeon Master (the player who controls the game) may spend weeks perfecting a campaign to run his players through. He or she will nitpick and overthink every facet of the game world, from the type of hat a certain non-player character wears to what items are for sale at the local Blacksmith to the exact number of enemies they’ll face in their first encounter.
Any sort of activity that by its very nature forces participants to think, feel and create should be lauded, accepted and popular in our society. It is a triumph of humanity. It’s a game where people get together and think, both individually and communally, to create a detailed mindscape to exist within. It’s the perfect creative and social outlet, and it boggles my mind that it isn’t more popular. Our society is in a sad state indeed when a game that allows you to explore your own humanity and exercise your mind is a frowned-upon activity (also, reading books should be considered cooler than it is).
I will tell you this, as I adorn my Helm of Bugbear slaying that has a plus-2 to attack rolls against bugbears: If you don’t think “Dungeons and Dragons” is cool, you’re missing out. Just check out this helm! This could be you.
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