An unsure look and an awkward chuckle. That’s the first response you get when you tell someone you met your significant other on the Internet. It isn’t a friendly “with you” chuckle either. It’s a nervous “that’s never going to work out” chuckle, because unfortunately, meeting people on the Internet has a negative stigma attached to it.
Many even go on to insinuate that something is wrong with you if you can’t find a date “IRL” (“in real life” for you non-nerds).
While it’s true the Internet is full of crazies (have you been on that thing lately?), I don’t find the idea of romance on the Internet particularly fallacious. It certainly isn’t indicative of a basic level of desperation or lack of social skills, though, the latter is true in my case. What? Girls are scary.
We use the Internet for work, for school (even entire degrees), friendship, family, as a backup communications network in the event of nuclear bombardment, a place of commerce and more.
Yet, for some reason, Internet relationships are invalidated in the public eye because they didn’t start from a drunken episode at a bar, or an awkward, staring-at-your-feet “would you like to go for a cup of coffee sometime?”
The Internet as a love portal (no jokes, please) has a few perks over trying to find a date in real life. The majority of dating sites show someone’s availability status right at the top, so you need not suffer the crushing defeat of working up the courage to ask someone out, only to find out they’re in a committed long-term relationship.
Many sites match through common interests, hobbies and religious views. You also need not suffer the distress of finding out your date is a faithful scientologist who disagrees with everything you hold dear.
Some sites even match psychological profiles so you can find someone just as crazy as you are, and that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Finding someone who will put up with your crap. OK, so my take on the dating process is a little jaded.
It essentially simplifies the dating process and makes it easy. The Internet provides a convenient forum to get to know eligible people in a non-threatening manner and see if you even wish to date them. It allows you to skip the seemingly hopeless bar and party scene.
It’s no surprise that Internet dating has been on a steady incline since its inception and is now more popular than ever. Advertisements for it are all over television, and more and more it’s becoming a social norm. According to analysis from Duke University, 18 percent of people who are single and have access to the Internet have used it for dating in
the U.S.
The reason for the increase in the popularity of Internet dating is because of the high mobility of today’s young people. People tend to be career-minded and move around as is necessary to acquire a job. This removes them from their established social networks for mate selection and may leave them little time to re-establish a social life. Americans are busier than ever and the average age of marriage is on the rise. The social prospects for people are changing, and it makes sense the way they discover mates should change, too. It makes sense they should change in ways that are more efficient.
Some may argue it makes the progress mechanical, that it takes the “fun” out of finding someone. I’m not sure what fantasy world they live in, but dating has always been pretty stressful for me.
Meeting potential mates on the Internet is rapidly becoming a socially acceptable practice. Put the social stigmas aside and don’t hold yourself back. Why allow anything to stop you from finding that special someone? Maybe you didn’t get the memo, but the Internet is cool now, which elevated all of us geeks up a notch or two, but we’ve still got a ways to go. The Internet is the reincarnation of an “old timey” (read: 1990s) social network with Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging and the like enabling people to stay perpetually connected.
There’s no reason not to put yourself out there on the Internet and see what happens. Just ensure that your first meeting is in a comfortable public area — it’s easy to forget the Internet is rife with bad eggs as well.
Of course, failing all of that, you can always take out a personal advertisement in a newspaper, like everyone’s favorite “Subway Sexpanther.”
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