Guest Blog and Photo By Alexis Stickel
Throughout my service experiences I’ve developed certain beliefs about the definition of “help.” Does a hot meal really help a homeless man living day-to-day on the streets? Sure, it gives him one meal. But that steaming serving of oatmeal, hot coffee and an orange can’t pay rent for a month. It can’t even sustain him for more than one day. As the saying goes “give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, but give a man a fishing pole and you will feed him for life.” This saying has become the root of my service philosophy. I believe in service that will help people for more than just a day. However, my week in San Francisco challenged the very core of these beliefs and especially that particular saying.
Glide Memorial Church serves three hot meals a day to anywhere from 500 to 800 people. This fact is mind-blowing all by itself; however, these meals are not just hot oatmeal and fruit. They serve fresh fried chicken, salads, hard-boiled eggs, mash potatoes with gravy and even seafood jambalaya. However, even as I was helping to serve breakfast I struggled to see how my smiling face and ability to refill coffee pitchers was truly making a change in their lives. I argued with others and myself about the difference between a fish and a fishing pole and I began to wonder: what if the man lived in a desert and there were no fish anyway? My confusion continued to mount until I met LaChe, a volunteer coordinator for Glide.
We were scheduled for an orientation with LaChe between volunteer shifts in the kitchen. When one member of our group asked her how she was doing, her response was unusual: “Actually I’m struggling today”. This answer prompted the most powerful encounter I had on my trip. As she reflected on the five core values of Glide – radical inclusivity, truth telling, loving and hopeful, for the people and celebration – and how these values were reflected in her life I saw everything in a new light. How hard am I on myself with I receive a low grade on a paper? Or when I realize I’ve lost something so very dear to me? When I don’t know how to fix what’s been broken? When I don’t know what’s coming next in my life? Too hard. I realized that I find it so hard to love myself, celebrate my own life and even be honest with myself. How am I supposed to move forward with my own life if I can’t even do those things? And if I can’t do that as a 21-year-old, almost college graduate with financial and emotional support from dozens of family members and friends, then how can I honestly expect others to do so who have so much less than myself?
For some people merely waking up in the morning and coming to Glide for breakfast is a success story. And who am I to judge those people from the people whose success story begins when they decide to sign up for one of the other 92 programs Glide has to offer? And so I realized that for some people a hot cup of coffee and a smiling face is the fishing pole and the fish simultaneously.
Learn more about Ethos’ weeklong series, My Alternative Break.
