The following is the second part of a two-part series started in last week’s “In These Eyes.”
Cynthia Wick lies on her couch, crushed. No food in her system, no hope on her mind, no sleep in her near future. In fact, for Wick, the act of sleeping now means enduring horrible nightmares that wake her up every 30 minutes.
Since she lost her boyfriend of two years to an overdose, her life hasn’t been the same.
“I had no desire to do anything,” Wick said.
Wick doesn’t even sleep in her bedroom anymore — it reminds her too much of Devyn Lorett.
Wick doesn’t stop wondering how different things would be if she turned her car around that night.
And Wick will not quit giving herself false hope — hope that maybe Lorett will get in contact with her and this terrible dream will end.
“I know it’s real and I know he’s really gone, but I still text him and call him,” Wick said.
Upon his passing away, Lorett’s Facebook page turned into an endless memorial service, and Wick often writes some of the things she never got to say to him on his wall: “I need you Devyn, I’m sick of feeling alone and I don’t wanna hurt anymore,” one wall post read.
The hurt sent the 18-year-old high school senior into a comatose state — drowning in her own emotions, not attending school or work, repeating memories of the last time she saw him and just trying to convince herself that what happened actually happened.
It wasn’t until a month and a half after Lorett passed that Wick finally decided to return to Sam Barlow High School in Gresham and finish out her senior year.
She wanted to walk across that stage — not for herself, but for Lorett, who will never have the opportunity.
However, the path to academic recovery was almost as hard as the emotional one.
She had to do a month’s worth of back work, was placed on an attendance contract, had to drop some classes, and even had to battle with one of her teachers, who wasn’t going to accept her work.
But now, after months of hard work, Wick, a B+ student, is finally all caught up and on track to graduate. She is thrilled to escape Gresham and start her new life at Boise State this fall, but it seems as though her love life will continue to bear scars: “I feel like I am going to spend the rest of my life alone,” she said.
This situation will pain her and those who loved Lorett for many years to come. Lorett, a kid described to me as a genuine, loving and intelligent individual, was cherished by those in the Parkrose community and throughout the city of Portland. Wick said she’ll remember the way he looked into her eyes, the way he taught her to be a more positive person, and his radiating presence.
Lorett, you have made those lucky enough to know you happier just by being in their lives, and I know by reading the comments on your page and by the reactions I saw, that you will always live on through those who love you.
When Cynthia Wick walks across that stage this June, bearing a tattoo on her side that says, “I’ll never forget, forever and for always Devyn Bryson Lorett,” we can all rest assured that though his untimely death prevented him from graduating, his name will go across the stage, and someone he loved dearly will accept a diploma — in his honor.
Devyn Bryson Lorett Sept. 13, 1991 – Feb. 6, 2010. Forever and for always.
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Graduating with a special honor
Daily Emerald
May 3, 2010
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