Accordion riffs, lukewarm gastropod puns and frilly slime-green lace were in no short supply yesterday on the Park Blocks Stage downtown, as the city’s three-decade laundry list of former Eugene Celebration royalty cast their votes for this year’s SLUG Queen.
Last night’s pageant marked the 28th annual Society for the Legitimization of the Ubiquitous Gastropod, or SLUG, Queen Competition, a colorful and sometimes overtly explicit beauty pageant parody held to elect the Eugene Celebration’s unofficial representative and parade leader. Every living former queen since 1984, along with several guest judges, cast their votes for who they thought should wear the mired tiara and be entrusted with the responsibilities of queen for the year.
Last year’s Queen Anislugsia, also known as Mark Van Beever, gave a short introduction to the pageant, describing how gratifying it was to be elected to the throne last year as only the sixth man in the event’s history to seize the SLUG Queen mantle.
“I wasn’t going to run (last year); I had ten days to prepare,” Beever said. “To my old queens who have embraced me as one of their own and made this such a crazy-fun adventure, I can’t thank you enough.”
An explosion of applause and lethargic funk riffs, courtesy of the house band, ushered the five contestants onto the stage.
The contestants included the Kleen Green Kompassion Kween (M.J. Qualtere) holding a ukulele in one fully-tattooed arm and sporting tie-dye ribbons dangling from her curly brown hair; Slime-U-Lotta (Kimberly Gladden), wearing a neon green tutu and tights complemented by a puffy green wig; Little Orphan Sluggie (Daniel Borson), a tap dancier wearing a green afro and what appeared to be a tweed-brown nurse’s gown; Holly GoSlugly (Debbie Williamson-Smith), adorned with a simple black gown and a necklace of what looked like moss; and Princess Slugasana (Jerril Nilson), whose dress resembled a green tie-dye chicken costume, complete with decorative fans that would deploy as she danced.
The first two judging criteria for the pageant — costume and talent competitions —took up the majority of the 90-minute ceremony and included a heartfelt spoof of Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit,” sung by Slime-U-Lotta, who replaced the line “Go ask Alice” with “Go plant carrots.”
Kleen Green Kompassion Kween was the only contestant to play an instrument during her song, singing in Spanish and playing her ukulele with a bright blue exam glove on her left hand.
“This is for my slimy messes,” Qualtere said, wiggling her gloved fingers to the crowd before slipping into the tune.
The third section of the pageant was a question and answer session, where the prospective queens would draw folded strips of paper out of a jar and be asked the questions that the notes revealed. Whoever composed the riddles must have had an eye for Eugene popular culture because many questions subliminally referred to recent public disputes and controversies.
2004’s SLUG Queen and ceremony emcee Scarlett O’Slimera, better known as Joan Gold-Cypress, asked the various contestants questions such as, “If you were going to rename a local beltway, what name would you choose and why?” and “Should slugs be allowed to study in the U of O’s new Jaqua Center?”
Though the contest’s purpose could be easily misunderstood by more reserved non-Eugenians, it has gained fame over the years for its incorporation of humanitarianism. The pageant’s website, Slugqueen.com, outlines several charitable duties elected queens must participate in, which include throwing a charity ball for a non-profit organization of their choice and making an appearance at the Mayor’s Art show and the Salon de Refuse, both of which help to raise money for the Springfield/Eugene Habitat for Humanity.
In the end, Princess Slugasana was crowned 2010’s SLUG Queen by a slim margin, with Holly GoSlugly and Little Orphan Sluggie coming in second and third place, respectively.
Now Queen Slugasana (Nilson), the blushing monarch felt elated for the appointment and promised to conduct the ensuing responsibilities of her title with grace and use her power to support several noble causes. Nilson is a board member and past president of Eugene Ballet and a former Emerald news reporter.
“My royal subjects, thank you so much for coming out this evening,” Nilson said. “I feel very privileged to keep up the tradition of Slug Queen to benefit Slow Food and the School Garden Project. I am very proud to be part of this family.”
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SLUG queen competition oozes Eugene style
Daily Emerald
August 14, 2010
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