It is not uncommon to encounter sex in our everyday lives. After all, we are all in college.
But what is the purpose of sex? Why do we do it?
In a college environment, the answer seems simple: Young men and women are looking for people to be compatible with for the long haul. Sex is a way for us to forge emotional connections and express physical desires.
A study done at the University of Texas in 2006 titled “Why Humans Have Sex” explores the psychological reasons that people engage in sexual activity. This study compiled the reasons people have sex from 1,549 undergraduate students. The top 10 reasons given from both genders were all categorized as either emotional or physical.
The top reason for both sexes was, “I was attracted to the person.” Other reasons included, “It feels good,” and “I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.” Only three reasons listed from the men and women had emotional connotations; the rest were physical. This is not to say that all sex is without emotion. However, the results of this study indicate a trend of engaging in sex for the physical pleasure rather than for the emotional bond.
So what do University students have to say about this?
Katie Ellison, a freshman, explained how she sees sex. “It’s a close emotional connection between two people, who, in theory, love each other.” Ellison elaborated on her sexual experiences at the University. “When I entered college, I thought I could find a guy to be friends with and create a relationship from there. Instead, I met a guy here and had sex with him because I was tired of having to wait. I thought I was able to handle the emotional stress that comes along with sex, but it really messed me up.”
When asked if she applies her definition of sex to her own life, Ellison said she hasn’t been doing that. “Being in college is very different from being in high school. Back then, it was more acceptable to say no. Now, I feel that there’s more of an expectation to say yes.” For Ellison, the physical aspect of sex is not her primary motivation. “Of course it’s pleasurable,” she said, “but it’s so much better to have sex with someone that you can trust in that vulnerable position.”
Hannah Everman, a junior, agrees with Ellison.
“Sex is about physical pleasure only half of the time. I think it’s so important to have sex with someone you can be comfortable with.” Everman commented on her feelings about sex in college.“I don’t believe in having sex without an established relationship. It causes more emotional pain, especially during a breakup, which overrides the physical experience you would be getting. If you’re in a relationship, you get physical pleasure and emotional comfort that your significant other will be there in the morning.”
Everman stated that for her, sex is not a stress reliever. “I use sex to have a fun time,” she said. Everman describes her form of stress relief as dealing with the specific thing she is stressing about. “When I’m stressed, I don’t even think about sex,” Everman said. “All I want to do is study, finish homework or figure out my problem.”
Everman believes that sex can be a stress reliever, however. She states that she’s never intentionally used sex in this way, but she can see why others do.
When asked if she thinks stress makes it easier for people to give into sex, Everman said, “There is no question that sex relieves stress, but I don’t think that stress makes it easier to have sex. Personally, stress overrides anything fun that I want to do.”
Daniel Campbell, a junior, says sex contains both physical and emotional bonds. “I feel an emotional connection to some girls after dating them and that’s what attracts me to them. Other times, I hook up with a girl because I’m physically attracted.” Campbell says that it depends on the situation whether he is having sex for emotional or physical reasons. “One thing that’s always good is that the girl is on the same page. When the girl becomes clingy because she feels a connection, I feel a little bad for hooking up with her. It’s better that both parties know what they’re getting into to avoid awkward situations later.”
Kylee Schaefer, a junior, says that sex is emotional, but at the same time there can be certain instances where it’s purely physical.
“There are some times when you get caught up in the moment and don’t think about emotional factors. When you wake up in the morning, you’re either okay with your decision or you feel regret.” Schaefer thinks that in college she has become more liberal about sex. “Truthfully, I would prefer to be in a relationship with someone for a long time, but if I’m just going to get sex, I’ll take it.” Schaefer also takes into account the emotional aspect of sex. “When I get together with my ex-boyfriend, all I want is an emotional connection with him. With other guys, it’s not always necessary to have that so long as there is physical attraction.”
Schaefer also remarked that for her, the desire for sex increases when her levels of stress increase. “When I’m stressed, I’ll seek sex if I can. If I can’t find it, anything sexual will do, such as making out.” Schaefer believes that higher stress levels lead to a higher chance in engaging in nonemotional sex. “When you’re stressed and have no one, you’re more likely to seek anyone that’s physically attracted to you in order to de-stress. At that point, you’re not concerned about whether there is an emotional connection.”
We all have sex for many different reasons, but one thing is for certain: Whether people have sex to satisfy a sexual craving, reduce stress or bond with their partner, all humans seek the comfort of another person. It’s natural. It’s inevitable. And, let’s face it, it feels good to have that connection.
— Jaclyn Morris