When we think of a fraternity, we think of “Animal House.” We think of “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder” — keggers, polos, folded brim baseball caps — Bro hard, right?
However, contrary to belief, fraternities are not @@only@@a place where douchebags come together to bask in their doucheness; rather, fraternities are just groups of college guys who want to establish a brotherly bond and share the college experience together. They are no different than any other group of college males.
I know this because, well, I was once a “frat bro.”@@Caps?@@
When I arrived at the University my freshman year, I was a bright-eyed kid who didn’t have a clue about college life or where I could make friends. The fact that I was off-campus and away from my dorm-dwelling peers didn’t help one bit.
I knew that I needed to become a part of something to establish a place on campus, and I wasn’t really sure how to go about that. But when a group of dudes approached me, with two triangles and a “T” on their shirts, the idea of joining a fraternity didn’t seem too bad  — at that point, anything was better than going home to nine strange roommates I didn’t have anything in common with.
After meeting the dudes and seeing their house, I was totally interested in joining. For the first time, I had the opportunity to do something on campus that wasn’t school, and I had a group of people to associate with myself. It was a small sense of belonging, a small part of campus to call my own.
I learned just how important networking is in college. As a first-generation college student, I didn’t have anyone to tell me about the who’s, what’s and how’s of collegiate life, and I didn’t fully realize just how miserable it can be to not feel like you’re a part of the school you pay so much money to attend.
I probably could have found a connection to campus through some other student group; a club sport, FIG or student publication, but this was the only group of people who were interested in students for more than their academic abilities and career goals — this was a group of guys who wanted good friends.
I was excited to become a member of the fraternity: All the weird tests, stereotypes, and awkward initiation week shenanigans didn’t stop me from earning my letters.
I was initiated at the end of fall term — I was officially a fraternity man.
The thrill was short-lived, however, as I quickly realized the fraternity experience just wasn’t for me. I was aware of what a fraternity was about, but I guess I was so excited to be part of something that I didn’t look at the bigger picture.
The biggest concern was money: As a member of a frat, I was required to pay $300 in live-out fees — just to maintain membership (this was actually one of the cheaper prices in Fraternity and Sorority Life). Unless I decided that I didn’t want to have books that year, there was no way that I would have been able to pay the fee. Though fraternities often have incremental payment plans, there were no need-based scholarships to cover membership fees, which would have been my only viable option.
The effects of the high price of Fraternity and Sorority Life tied into their inability to incorporate any type of diversity. Most students in fraternities and sororities are from upper-middle-class households, and it’s difficult for them to maintain students from any other demographic with the prices they have.
Though I enjoyed my time with the guys I called my brothers, I simply couldn’t be a part of a community that cost so much and was unable to reflect the diverse culture I wanted to be a part of (which makes me wonder how the heck I’ve stuck around the University for so long).
Shortly after I joined the fraternity, I let them know that I had to disassociate. But it didn’t even matter at that point because I had already met so many people through their community, and I was already really good friends with a lot of members in the fraternity.
Though I don’t go to the house much, a good portion of my best friends from college are alumni and members of that fraternity — in fact, in many ways, my whole social life was started by my role in the fraternity.
Many people on our campus can say the same. They didn’t join a fraternity for the raging parties, the endless keggers, or the ability to haze pledges (which I can attest did not happen), rather, these guys just wanted a place to meet friends and establish a role in a community. Whether that community is for you or not, you have to respect someone with those desires.
Of course, Fraternity and Sorority Life isn’t perfect: They get drunk, have big house parties and often make fools of themselves — but then again, what group of college students doesn’t?