Dear Tucker Carlson,
My name is Tyree Harris, and on Dec. 28, 2010, I became, undeniably, your least biggest fan.
Prior to that date, I knew you as just another member of the political theater, whose faint cry for uniqueness lied within a goofy-looking bow tie and the fact that you’re probably the only man on Fox News with a full head of hair.
You briefly came on my awareness radar when I went on to YouTube to watch you get completely obliterated by Jon Stewart on Crossfire in 2005 (which was canceled soon after).
I actually almost felt sorry as you desperately tried to flip the accusations and insults toward Stewart, only to be told that you were “hurting America” and that you were a “dickhead.”
The intellectual assault you took was so bad that many believe your career still hasn’t recovered, and that his stabs at your Pee-Wee Herman-esque neck accessory were what finally put your bow tie to its tomb.
Since then, your only real show (a creatively titled show by the name of “Tucker”) was cancelled due to, you guessed it, low ratings, and you now serve as a frequent contributor to Fox News — America’s top source for fair and balanced news.
Though you were clearly not the kind of guy I would want to have a hot cup of Joe with, the comments you made on the 28th of December made me think that you are the type of guy I would want to pour a hot cup of Joe on.
On “Great American Panel,” in regards to President Barack Obama calling the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles to thank him for giving star quarterback Michael Vick a second chance, you said:
“I’m a Christian. I’ve made mistakes myself. I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should’ve been executed for that.”
He wasn’t, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?
That desperate for attention? That desperate for ratings?
Vick served more a year in prison, filed for bankruptcy, lost all of his sponsors and became a mockery across the nation for his involvement with that pitbull fighting ring.
He served his time, and as far as we knew it, Vick was a thing of the past and his days of being the most athletic quarterback in the game were long gone.
Had he gotten out of prison to pull a Ricky Williams, a Shawn Kemp or even a Maurice Clarett, as we all predicted, you wouldn’t have cared to wish death upon him. But, because the man has done the unthinkable and redeemed his skills, his image, and most importantly himself, you want us to keep our backs turned to a man who has done everything in his power to earn back our respect, and wish the ultimate punishment upon a man who committed crimes against dogs.
Interestingly, you don’t have anything to say about Ben Roethlisberger, who gets away scot free with the perpetual sexual harassment, but you have plenty to say about Vick.
You wish no harm toward the military personnel who have killed hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq, yet you do toward one football player who killed not one man? And lastly, in a time of great economic strife, political polarization, corporate takeover and mass illusion, the most important thing you can talk about on a political show is Obama calling the president of a sports team to say thanks for giving someone a second chance who clearly deserves it?
It’s political hacks like you that make our political system even more difficult to follow. People watching this show will be led to believe that Obama is standing behind the act of murdering dogs, as opposed to simply thanking the Eagles owner for taking a risk on a man who deserved a second chance and ensuring that he is on a good path.
You’re misleading people, but of course this isn’t the first time you’ve done this. This aimless brand of political theater has been the model of your entire career — from embracing polarization on Crossfire, to pretending to be non-partisan in your newspaper, The Daily Caller. You live and die for the big, bad quote, and you lust for the big argument and not the truth.
That’s not journalism — that’s just corporatism. Any efforts you make are tarnished by your role as a political puppet.
Tucker, it’s people like you that make me feel happy to say that I am too poor to afford cable TV. Remaining oblivious to your bow-tied existence is great, and I can only hope that you will remain sound bite-free enough to once again burrow back into that little den outside of my awareness radar.
Yours truly,
Tyree Harris
P.S. Go Eagles.
[email protected]
Harris: An open letter to Tucker Carlson
Daily Emerald
January 5, 2011
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