Goodness gracious me, it seems like there’s a whole herd of sacred cows roaming around this campus. I’d like to take a look at several
of them, and maybe make some
sacred hamburger.
For one thing, it seems the
word “corporate” has become a euphemism for “anything a company does that I don’t like.”
When someone describes something as “corporate,” it’s generally understood that this is a bad thing. I once had a philosophy instructor who said, “I don’t believe in big
corporations.” The class nodded knowingly, some making grunting noises of vague agreement.
Now, surely this instructor would be willing to acknowledge the
existence of big corporations. What, then, does it mean not to believe in big corporations? I don’t want to speak for someone else, but I’m
pretty sure she meant she doesn’t agree with particular practices of certain corporations.
Rather than saying, “I disagree with and condemn those companies that engage in anti-competitive practices, predatory pricing, and the use of child labor,” it has become hip to say something far more meaningless: “Corporations suck.”
Never mind the fact that the
mom-and-pop shops these anti-
corporate heroes claim to love are probably corporations themselves.
A corporation is basically just
a set of notarized documents sitting in a filing cabinet at the Secretary
of State’s office. Corporations are what encourage entrepreneurs
to take risks knowing that if their businesses fail, they won’t lose everything they own. If not for the concept of the corporation, business in America would belong even more to the privileged elite because only those who could afford to take
multimillion dollar risks could go into business for themselves.
If not for the corporation, mom-and-pop shops wouldn’t be able to exist.
There are a lot of problems
with big business in America.
But if you want to start talking
about these problems in any sort of meaningful way, you’re going to have to think about what you’re
saying instead of falling back on
the overused “corporate” cliché.
Seriously, you sound like a jackass when you say it.
And another thing: “Patriarchal” apparently now means “anytime one discusses complicated diversity
issues without drastically oversimplifying the issue, spouting politically correct positions and getting
angry all at the same time.”
As a man who wrote an
award-winning series of columns on gender issues two years ago, I can’t keep track of the times I have been called patriarchal. As best I could tell, this complaint arose mainly
because the tone of my columns
was tongue-in-cheek instead of righteously indignant.
And just like that, another word
in the English lexicon loses its
meaning and becomes a buzzword for an angry demographic with a
political agenda.
“Hate speech” is another term that has been overused to the point of being basically meaningless. No one has been able to supply me with a satisfactory definition of hate speech. But no one wants to be
accused of it, that’s for sure.
Taking words that once meant something and turning them into
euphemisms for things we don’t like is an affront to language and public discourse. Like those who used to (and sometimes still do) throw the word “communist” around until it really means nothing, those who propagate the use of such buzzwords keep their discussions painfully shallow.
As long as people boo whenever something is described as
“corporate” and cower whenever they’re accused of “hate speech,” discussions about business ethics
or diversity will never get past
the rhetoric and to the heart of
these issues.
In a country where most college students double-major in fermented beverage consumption and political correctness, with a minor in
standardless mediocrity, it’s not too surprising that most of the words coming out of their mouths have no meaning whatsoever. Surprising or not, though, it is a tragedy.

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