Water, electricity and sports – three of life’s essentials. The only problem is getting them together.
But I have a plan, something that will revolutionize the modern morning and combine these three invaluable elements: A waterproof TV that fits in the shower, allowing us avid sports fans to get our morning fix of “SportsCenter.”
Think about the possibilities: On a consistent basis, you’d have something to look forward to when that damn alarm goes off – a reason to get out of bed. Better yet, you don’t have to worry about catching the late-night “SportsCenter” when you’re at the bars or watching “The Osbournes” (which is a close second as the best program on the tube).
Heck, if you have your sights set on graduation, you could even study some in the evening, considering you already have time set aside the next morning for sports.
The best part is you get to spend more time in the shower, without question the most vital part of the day. Seriously. What we do without the morning shower?
In case you’re not completely convinced, let me lay out a typical morning for you. Let me show you the difference a TV-shower can make for your well-being.
Bear with me:
I know a guy who often wakes up 10 minutes before class, throws on some shoes and heads to school. It’s a rarity for him to shave or put on deodorant, much less shower or put on a clean pair of underwear.
You may have had a class with this guy or someone like him. You no longer have to wonder why you get sick so much.
But what if he had a TV-shower? I guarantee you that this guy (it’s not me, by the way) would be more motivated to get out of bed, say, even 20 minutes earlier. We all know sleep is great, but what, really, is another 20 minutes of sleep going to do? Not much. But if you use those 20 precious minutes to motivate yourself for a grand day – shoot, the world would be a much happier place.
People would actually be signing in the street, in the rain even – I guarantee it. All because of the TV-shower.
Now I don’t like to boast, but this is the greatest invention since the beginning of the millennium. The TV-shower saves time and money. Period.
The ultimate goal of the TV-shower, of course, is time management. Human nature propels us to try to squeeze as much as we can into 24 hours. But there’s only so much one can do. That’s why we have combine some of our daily chores/necessities.
My roommate brushes his teeth in the shower. Aside from being the strangest, and grossest, thing I’ve heard of, I guess the shower-brush is a time-saver. But it just doesn’t cut it for me, nor does it save enough time. Besides, brushing your teeth in the shower only complicates what is supposed to be the most invigorating part of the day. The shower should be fun, and nobody enjoys brushing their teeth.
Watching TV in the shower, though, now that’s a novel concept.
If I could only figure out a way to eat breakfast while watching “SportsCenter” in the shower – wow! – life would be perfect.

E-mail sports editor Adam Jude at
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