Iron Mike” Tyson is back in the news, in case you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past month or you’re not into sports. Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion Lennox Lewis finally bit the bullet and agreed to fight Tyson on April 6 in Las Vegas, a break Tyson has been itching for since Lewis first won the title. Then, just when his sagging career was facing possible revival, Tyson mucked things up by attacking Lewis’ entourage at a press conference last month.
Nevada’s boxing commission quickly denied Tyson’s request for a license in a 4-1 decision. “I am a human being,” Tyson was quoted as saying to the commissioners, “but I haven’t been treated that way. I haven’t been written that way.” He then demonstrated his humanity by going out to the parking lot and publicly calling Lewis a coward. “I’m going to fight him anytime I see him in the streets,” he said.
Human being Mike Tyson has served three years in prison for sexual assault and one year for “road rage” assault. He also was suspended from boxing for a year after the infamous ear-biting incident against Evander Holyfield. On top of that, Nevada police are currently investigating two separate rape charges against him. Oh, the humanity!
The Association of Boxing Commissioners has called for all states to uphold Nevada’s decision. My old stomping ground, Texas, flirted with hosting duties. Eddie Gossage of Dallas’ Texas Motor Speedway, home to monster trucks, drag racing and NASCAR, was a contender but ultimately declined.

“We cannot sell our values,” Gossage said. “Texas Motor Speedway is a clean-cut, family-oriented venue.” Beer-guzzling, mullet-headed rednecks may take their families out to the races, but I’d hardly call them clean-cut. Gossage briskly ended the interview when a reporter brought this to his attention.
In the end it didn’t matter, though. Gov. Rick Perry actually wanted to arrest the fighter for failing to register as a sex offender. With his recommendation, Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation Executive Director Bill Kuntz denied Tyson’s license request.
“Psycho Mike-o” was able to get a license in Georgia. It should be noted, however, that that state’s only requirements are $10 and proof of physical, not mental, fitness. Not everyone was happy about the lax rules, though. Gov. Roy Barnes, in a touching Valentine’s Day speech to a women’s group, said his state should not grant any privileges to a “sexual predator” like Tyson. Tyson’s camp, sensing a little hostility, moved on to the next state.
Colorado Gov. Bill Owens echoed Perry and Barnes’ sentiment, saying a Tyson fight would tarnish his state’s image. Lucky for Tyson, there is one place with an image so foul not even he could tarnish it further: Washington, D.C. The Boxing and Wrestling Commission voted unanimously, 3-0, to grant Tyson a license last week.
That’s right. Our nation’s capital has embraced a man no one else will touch. But before you condemn Washington for reaffirming its sleaziness once again, consider the logic behind denying Tyson a license in the first place. Can anyone really be too brutal for boxing, America’s most violent “sport”? This is a game where the surest way to win is to beat an opponent unconscious with one’s bare hands. Nice guys just don’t do that for a living, so is it any wonder boxing attracts scumbags like Tyson?