There are a lot of column ideas out there. There are also a lot of ideas that don’t really deserve their own column, but deserve some column space.
And I need some fancy way to package these ideas. It’s a smorgasbord of ideas. A melting pot.
A mix tape. And these are the
liner notes.
Track 1. Pac-10 schools with football stadiums directly attached to campus: Washington State, Oregon State, Stanford, California, Arizona, USC.
Pac-10 schools with football stadiums separated from campus: Washington, Oregon, UCLA, Arizona State.
Psychological test: Name the first Pac-10 programs that come to mind when I list these adjectives. Ready? Brash, arrogant, confident.
Washington and Oregon for sure. Probably UCLA, too.
Coincidence? You decide.
Track 2. Something fishy: Don’t you get a weird feeling studying or eating in “The Fishbowl”? Like you might, at any time, see a giant set of eyes peering in the windows? Maybe it’s just me.
Track 3. Luke Jackson’s 2002-03 season line: 21.3 ppg, leads Pac-10. But despite this, Jackson stays for his senior year, while Luke Ridnour enters the NBA draft. Why? Jackson has shone with more responsibility each year (this year he’ll be an athletic dunker to make up for the absence of Freddie Jones), and he knows this. Next year, with Ridnour gone, he will be the man. Like, the man.
Why will Ridnour leave early? If you were a projected lottery pick, you’d go, too.
Track 4. Lyric of the century:
Guy: I smoke.
Girl: I smoke.
Guy: I drink.
Girl: Me too.
Both: Now we gonna get it on tonight.
From “Hey Ma” by Cam’ron.
Track 5. Taking out the trash: So nobody on either team is really talking trash for Saturday’s game, which brings out the trash-talker in me.
Hey, guys, you’re pathetic at talking trash! Say what you will about Civil War or the “Hick Bowl” — Oregon at Washington State — Oregon-Washington is the rivalry. It’s about big city versus little city, stuck-up versus outlandish, wine and cheese versus beer. Come on, Ducks! Let’s see it, Huskies! Where’s the trash?
Whew. That took a lot out of me.
Track 6. Best quote from Saturday’s football game: “This is the only place in the whole conference where I’ve heard fans cheering an injury. Ever. In 14 years.”
From Mike Bellotti, on fans cheering when Onterrio Smith had to be helped off the field in the second quarter with an eye injury. And he wasn’t happy when he said that — he was spitting the words with venom.
Bellotti has a right to be angry. That reaction made me sick to call myself a sports fan, because while sports can often bring out the best in people, they also sometimes bring out a dark side of humanity. I don’t want to talk any more about this.
Track 7. Reason No. 257 why The Sopranos is the best television show in the history of the world: Tony, driving a bulldozer to bury Ralphie’s head, with the classic “mafia boss having fun while burying one of his own” look on his face. Good times.
Track 8. Pullman’s bar scene: Forget the housing code, after spending a weekend in Pullman, Wash., I now realize that Eugene needs a bar code. Pullman has three campus bars that were all just off the hook Saturday night. Seriously. Half-hour waits at all three. Dance floors. Strobe lights. “Coyote Ugly”-style half-dressed female bartenders.
Is it too much to ask for just one off-the-hook campus bar here in Eugene? Please?
Track 9. Flag me: Intramural flag football has got to be the best invention ever. Heck, intramural sports in general are the best. They let you be Jerry Rice, Pelé, Michael Jordan and Barry Bonds for an hour at a time.
Of course, sometimes you feel more like Bill Buckner when you
let a softball go through your legs … but I wouldn’t know anything
about that.
Track 10. Close: In short, keep on sporting.