Dear Nat: I have a friend who is bad news — he owes me money and used me to get to my other friends. I told him I no longer want to see him, but he keeps trying to be my friend. The problem is, I have known him since kindergarten! How do I break it off while still being polite?

— Feeling Hopeless
Dear Hopeless: I’m sorry, but “break it off” and “polite” are two phrases that do not match up! People are always looking for the nicest way to get rid of someone, but the truth is, no one will walk away after being ditched feeling they were treated “politely.”
This guy is obviously bringing you down. You’ve already told him straight out to “get lost,” which is all you really can do. Now he’s just being a nag. The best way to brush a bug like him off your shoulder is to pretend he’s not there, and eventually he’ll skitter away. Don’t return phone calls or e-mails, and if he catches you on the phone or on the street, explain that “urgent appointment” you’re running late for.
And for pete’s sake, don’t feel guilty because you’ve known him since kindergarten! Just because you can remember this guy being put down for a nap or eating from his Bugs Bunny lunch box doesn’t mean you owe him anything. How you feel about him now should determine how you deal
with him.
On the other hand, if your “friend” says he wants to start over and vows to treat you better, I think he deserves a second chance. Just keep an eye on him. If he still owes you money after a month, tell him to hit the road. But if all he owes you is crayons he borrowed in kindergarten, I say let him
stay around.
Dear Nat: People have always said I’m a nice guy and a great person. I try not to be arrogant about anything, and I treat women with respect — but women only think of me as the “good friend” or the “big brother.” It’s not that I don’t like friends, but I’m getting kind of tired of this and would like to find a girlfriend. Please help me out.

— Looking for Love
Dear Looking: The question you’ve posed is one of the great mysteries of the world, probably because no perfect solution exists. There is no perfect strategy to guarantee you will meet the person of your dreams the next time you go out. Love is something that happens all by itself, without the aid of scheming. A relationship that has been mapped out and forced is a recipe for failure indeed.
I get the impression that you’re looking for a relationship built to last, which most people in college have not yet found. Those who brag about all their experiences with romance have most likely filled their time with meaningless hookups and unnatural, short-term relationships.
My advice to you is to first work on your confidence. While you’re single, use your free time to indulge in activities that bring you happiness and let you grow as a person. When others see you looking upbeat and comfortable with yourself, it attracts them from miles away.
Second, do what it takes to meet as many women as possible. You cannot control who you will meet or if she will be girlfriend material, but you can increase your chances of meeting Ms. Right by getting to know tons of different girls.
If I could summon a fairy to fly down and bring you the perfect girlfriend, I would. But for now, I’ll be believing that a great girl is waiting for you in the future. Good luck.