On April 3, 1996, Ruth Taylor, 41, University academic affairs management assistant, was killed by her husband while taking a bath. She bled to death on her bathroom floor.
Today, more than 132,000 Oregon women and hundreds of men are battered each year by their partners, according to Womenspace, a local domestic violence service.
Womenspace, along with several other local organizations, wants to end domestic violence and save the lives of people such as Taylor. Throughout October, Womenspace will be hosting events in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
“Ideally, we should be talking about domestic violence all year,” Women’s Center Office Coordinator Lori Brown said. “But setting a month aside lets us focus our energy and bring attention to an issue that wouldn’t get attention otherwise.”
Womenspace will kick off the month’s events with a celebration from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. Tuesday at the federal courthouse located at Seventh Avenue and Pearl Street.
Womenspace community outreach director Margo Schaefer said they decided to hold the event in front of the federal courthouse in hopes that people driving home from work will stop and participate.
“Many people who have been battered are told to shut up and deal with it,” she said. “But if they are driving by, maybe they will look out their window and see that they have a community to support them.
“Maybe, when they stop and get out of their car, they may not be prepared to leave the relationship, but I hope they feel the support.”
The event will feature choirs, children’s activities, information tables and candle-lighting, as well as various speakers, such as State Rep. Vicki Walker, D-Eugene.
There will also be 12 “Silent
Witnesses,” life-size cutouts of women who have been killed as a result of domestic violence.
The exhibit began in Minnesota in 1990 by a group of women artists and writers who wanted to speak out against the escalating domestic violence in their state, and has since
become a nationwide effort.
The exhibit will represent 12 of the 20 women killed in Oregon each year by their spouses.
Sexual Assault Support Services community education coordinator Michelle Edwards said domestic violence is not exclusive to married couples or women.
“Dating violence happens all the time, and we need to identify it and know what’s going on,” she said. Schaefer agreed and said one out of every five girls has been in a violent relationship before the age of 18, and many men are abused by partners as well.
“The statistics for men are not really that accurate,” she said. “Men are less likely to report violence because of shame, and the message for men is to ‘be a man.’”
DVAM activities also include giving friends and family a chance to learn about domestic violence. Schaefer said more than 80 percent of people experiencing domestic violence turn first to friends, family and co-workers who may not know how to help the situation.
“Friends and family are not always taught the right thing to say,” Schaefer said. “They need to learn how to be a good support network.”
Schaefer said the key to being a supportive friend is not to lecture and give advice, but to show support.
“As a friend, we often come in as the cavalry and get disappointed when the person returns to the abuser,” she said.
Schaefer said it’s a natural process for a person being battered to return to the abusive partner several times.
“People who are battered are conflicted,” she said. “They want to believe their partners when they say they’re working to change and believe that it will be the last time. Abusive partners are not just violent jerks, they are often charming and manipulative.”
Brown said the main goal this month is to educate as many people as possible about how to help those experiencing domestic violence.
Womenspace and Sacred Heart Medical Center will host a free educational session about domestic violence from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Oct. 8 in Sacred Heart’s auditorium at 13th Avenue and Hilyard Street.
SASS will be displaying its clothesline project (T-shirts made by domestic violence survivors) from 5 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Oct. 4 at 62 W. Broadway.
The University Women’s Center will be talking about domestic violence on campus radio KWVA’s “The Girl’s Room” from 10 p.m. to midnight Oct. 17. The show will feature local comedians and young women activists.
Contact the reporter at [email protected].