Quacks to the Oregon football team for toppling the Stanford Cardinal on Saturday. Not only did the Ducks break a three-game losing streak and jump back above the .600 mark, they also shut out a Pac-10 opponent for the first time in more than a decade.
Smacks to the United States government for cozying up to Saudi Arabia. The nation may be more diplomatically palatable than Hussein’s Iraq was, but the Saudi government’s miserable human rights record should draw more fire from American politicians.
Quacks to the disappearance of the ill-conceived (ill-hatched?) alternate Oregon mascot, Mandrake. We don’t care whether he’s buried underneath Autzen Stadium or off in an unbridled love tryst with Benny the Beaver, but we do care that his grotesque, distorted grin and waves of Spandex are no longer attached to the University in the public mind.
Smacks to proposed federal legislation that would fine universities for increasing tuition by too much. We dislike massive tuition hikes more than anyone else, but if the federal government snatches money from colleges, students will ultimately be the ones who pay the price.
Quacks to the University Bookstore’s Duck Stop coffee kiosk for collecting tips that will be given to the HIV Alliance. A single coffee tip might not make much of a difference, but last year’s tips (handed off to the Volunteers in Medicine Clinic) topped $5,000.
Smacks to overzealous preachers for crass displays in the EMU Amphitheater. Of course, they’re welcome to express whatever they’d like within the bounds of constitutionality, but a protester claiming that “sports nut’s (sic)” and Mormons make him sick only spreads animosity while adding little if anything to the realm of public debate.
Quacks to the Florida Marlins for overcoming underdog odds through the division series and World Series to become the 2003 Major League Baseball champions, defeating the powerhouse New York Yankees in the process.
Smacks to Florida Governor Jeb Bush for interfering with the family feud surrounding the possibility of ending Terri Schiavo’s life. Schiavo’s husband, Michael, had doctors remove the vegetative woman’s feeding tube from her mouth, but her family contested the move, and Bush ratified a hastily passed bill that had the tube reinserted. There’s room for debate about medical ethics, but rashly drafted and ill-considered legislation shouldn’t be a part of that discussion.
Quacks to the General Services Administration for agreeing to change plans for Eugene’s planned Federal Building to include a building-front wheelchair ramp. While the original plans were legal — and arguably more aesthetic — a ramp that allows easy access to key parts of the courthouse for disabled community members will make a more powerful statement about the core values of our society than a slightly differently shaped building front.
And finally, quacks to the Lane Transit District bus driver who takes trash from Safeway to a recycling station, making the world a greener place. If more people were as proactive as he is, Americans wouldn’t need to go through nearly as much preconsumer content.