Dear Nat:
I am a female sharing an apartment with another girl, and she is a complete slob! I often leave the apartment for entire weekends, and I’m forced to return to a living room of scattered clothing, a sink full of dirty dishes and a grimy bathroom. I usually end up cleaning it myself, and I’ve just about had it! How do I deal?

— Squeaky Clean Roommate
Dear Roommate:
By now I’m sure you’ve mastered gracefully leaping over piles of clothing while holding your nose, but I think it’s time to take more aggressive action. Maybe what your roommate needs is a rude awakening. Have a few friends over who are willing to loudly complain about the hideous smells and sights in your apartment. Hearing an honest opinion from the public could help your roommate realize how disgusting and unattractive her habits are, and she might feel too ashamed to leave a mess behind again.
If she remains clueless, try a more direct approach. Tell her you do not enjoy putting up with such filth and that it’s not your job to deal with her leftover weekend junk. And if a mess in any corner of your home bothers and distracts you, explain that limiting the mess to her half of the pad is not enough. Request that she clean up her act entirely!
And who’s saying you have to stay there? You deserve a comfortable living environment, so if it comes down to it, pack your bags. Put an ad in the paper: Female roommate wanted; cleanliness required.
Dear Nat:
I’m a junior male college student, and my parents still call me three times a week wanting to know everything about my life. I’ve tried to distance myself, but they won’t let go. I still care about them, but how can I get them off my back?

— Calling It Quits
Dear Calling It Quits:
Poor Mom and Dad! They must still get weepy staring at an empty chair at the dinner table and walking past your vacant bedroom — spaces that were occupied until just two years ago. Three interrogating phone calls a week is a little extreme, so naturally you became irritated and frustrated.
“Distancing yourself” probably led to a change of attitude in your parents’ eyes — a new view of a rude and possibly troubled son. I think your distancing strategy has caused your parents to worry about you, and now they’re prone to check up on you more! The next time a call comes in from the ‘rents, say you’d love to talk, but you’ve got a hectic week full of exciting activities. Sound happy to hear from them, but end the call quickly. That way, they’ll picture you having a great time at college and feel less of a concern or need to bother you. Then, set up a regular once a week time when you can call them — say, every Sunday. By being the one to make the call, you’ll feel prepared and in the mood to talk, and one time a week is much less demanding than three.
E-mail can be a wonderful thing when it comes to communication with parents. It won’t suddenly ring at an inopportune time and can be responded to at your leisure. I recommend giving a story swap with the folks via computer a whirl.
So answer the phone with a calm voice and a quick getaway, take the upper hand in making calls and give e-mail a shot. Your parents will still miss you, but they’ll be worry-free, and you’ll all be happier and ready to talk when it comes time.