“Webster’s New World College Dictionary” defines a cohabitant as a “person living together with another or others.” Often, living together is seen as the “next step” for some couples.
Sophomore Malia Bennett said living together with her longtime boyfriend was hard in the beginning.
“We were together all of the time,” she said. “It was a learning experience that I value. We learned from our mistakes. It is important to have separate lives as well as one together.”
Bennett and her boyfriend took some time apart from their living situation and briefly separated.
“I think one of the reasons we did break up is because we were not living together,” she said. “The influence by friends is so intense, especially in these developmental years.”
Bennett added that the two learned to communicate to work out problems more
effectively.
“That is one of the reasons we are doing so well today,” she said.
Not all have a positive
experience when they live with a significant other.
Junior Emily Birkland said her live-in experience had some unpleasant effects on her relationship as well as her life.
“Living together you really get to know an individual,” Birkland said. “In some ways it really made me like my boyfriend more, but adversely at times I really felt as though I did not have enough alone time because we spent all of our time together.”
Many couples fault a lack of space as a main pitfall to of a live-in relationship, sometimes feeling the need to suppress their feelings to avoid an unmanageable situation, which can be unhealthy for the relationship and the individual.
“When I lived with my boyfriend, I would try to avoid a fight by bottling up my feelings, which eventually ended with an even bigger unnecessary dispute,” Birkland said.
Birkland said because she and her partner are no longer living together, they have become closer and more receptive to each other’s feelings.
“Because we spend less time together, we are more eager to see each other,” she said.
In some cases, finances play a significant role in the decision to live with a partner.
“We both paid rent and had our own separate places, which cost a lot,” Bennett said. “It just didn’t seem logical financially because we were sleeping at each other’s houses every night.”
Despite potential difficulties, the number of unmarried couples living together is increasing. The numbers have risen steadily from 439,000 in 1960 to 5.5 million in 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.