He doesn’t call when he says he will. You’re in a serious relationship, but he doesn’t want to marry you. You’ve been dating for a while when he disappears into thin air. There is one simple reason for all these situations according to former “Sex and the City” consultant Greg Behrendt: “He’s just not that into you.”
“He’s Just Not That Into You,” co-authored by Behrendt and former “Sex and the City” executive story editor Liz Tuccillo, is a blunt, honest guide to understanding some of the most common problems women run into with men. Behrendt says that he “knows that guy you’re dating” — the one who is too busy with his career, just went through an awful breakup, has trust issues, etc. — and convinces you to can him, pronto. Each chapter outlines a common, unfortunate guy-girl situation, such as the ones with the guy who has a fear of intimacy, the man who cheats on you once and the dude who’s married. Advice is laid out in a question-and-answer format, and chapters are complete with examples of “the way it should be” and workbook exercises.
Familiarity and humor are the driving forces in this advice book. I recognized so many of the scenarios it was creepy.
“He doesn’t really call me when he says he’s going to. In fact, he doesn’t really call me much at all.” Behrendt’s response? “They say that they don’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit.”
Behrendt’s no-nonsense advice makes you think that the stuff you’re used to putting up with in relationships might be a waste of energy. “He’s Just Not That Into You” asserts that women are goddesses worthy of unconditional romance and anything less should be disregarded. Due to the book’s comical language and recognizable stories, this argument is, for the most part, convincing.
Even if you don’t accept the advice that any doubt in a romance must lead to “bye-bye,” you’re guaranteed to laugh. Workbook exercises include coloring in a red flag to remind yourself that a man who doesn’t want to have sex with you is not “The One.” Chapters include hilarious questions from “Nikki,” a woman who condemns Behrendt’s strict dating rules and sticks up for her emotionally unhealthy love life. But the funniest part is that you’ll laugh at yourself when you realize how common unacceptable male behavior is and how much you’ve put up with it.
Although most suggestions are self-empowering, one of Behrendt’s standards is a bit controversial. He states that a woman shouldn’t date a man who doesn’t ask her out first, stating, “Do you really have time for a guy who’s so afraid of you that he’s not even capable of inviting you for coffee?” While his advice might seem ridiculous to some (What if he’s just too shy?), Tuccillo provides a
relieving balance to each chapter by including a piece on why Behrendt’s advice is hard to take from a woman’s perspective.
We all make stupid moves, such as sleeping with our exes and pining away for a guy’s phone call. But when you’re serious about finding a real mate, this book really does speak the truth. Girls should get a copy for some valuable bedside reading.

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