In most cases the definition of bad music is subjective, but “Still Not Getting Any…,” the sophomore release from Canadian bubblegum-punkers Simple Plan, is an exception to that rule.
It is a little known fact that there is a direct correlation between how much a band sucks and the number of band members with dyed-black faux-hawks and side-swiped emo haircuts. Four of Simple Plan’s members possess the aforementioned hairstyles, and if it weren’t for the bald guy, listening to this record would actually kill you.
Luckily for Lava Records (the peddlers of this album and other such filth), there is also a direct correlation between how much a band sucks and how well their record sells. Logically, “Still Not Getting Any…” sold 139,928 albums on its first day and entered the Billboard top 200 at No. 3. To borrow a lyric from the album itself — “In a perfect world, this could never happen.”
The declining quality of cartoons is what’s really to blame. Throughout the nineties, good cartoons like “G.I. Joe,” “Jem” and “Duck Tales” were phased out in favor of crap such as “Goof Troop” and a botched attempt to revamp “Transformers.” This left a void for Americans ages 10 to 15, which was filled by watching MTV and “rebelling” ï