Remember Paris Hilton? You know what she is now? Oh, that’s right. Irrelevant.
Yes, Paris’ 15 minutes of fame are over and, just like that, the world has moved on.
Kim Kardashian, KK, Kimy K., Kimberly, Kim Kardashian-West or whatever K name you want to call her – her time is now and, from what I can tell, we are now living in the age of Kim Kardashian. And if Kim has anything to do with it, we will be for a long time. She’s wealthy, famous and probably better looking than you and, guess what else?
Kim Kardashian is a fucking genius.
She’s managed to keep herself relevant in a time when our attention is so limited that even Buzzfeed can barely hold it.
But how does she do it? How is that literally anywhere you go not only will people know about KK, but they’ll have their own opinions that they’ll have no qualms about voicing?
It’s all about controversy, about scandals. And if there’s one thing Kim K knows, it’s that being controversial is the key to maintaining her status as a celebrity. I mean, her rise to fame did happen through a sex tape (dare I create a link to Pornhub?) and relation to O.J. Simpson’s lawyer, so what do you really expect? And there are even rumors that the tape had been meticulously thought-out by her mother as a means to attain the spotlight.
She’s a genius because she knows her strengths and how to sell herself: She’s extremely active on social media, she’s made the cover of pretty much every magazine ever (people were screaming about her being the Vogue cover), her show keeps people watching, she has her very own video game that’s somehow making her 85 million a year, she married a “god” and named their child North West (is anyone honestly even surprised?)
And her latest thing: appearing on Paper magazine’s cover, oiled up and ass out, with the clear intention to “break the Internet” no less.
Sure, the picture might be tacky or whatever, but those outcries of indignation are exactly the kind of attention Mrs. Kardashian-West wants and needs. Though she may never be truly successful in her goal to “break the Internet” she’s probably the closest one to do so.
I don’t mean to be super-punny here, but it is hard to keep (I hate myself) up with her. She’s literally always up to something. She’s a mastermind, every move she makes is a calculated step to garner more fame, power and wealth.
Every time you declare “I hate Kim Kardashian” or call her names or say anything negative about the star, just know, somewhere out there, Kim K. is maniacally laughing, growing ever stronger because you’re providing the life force she needs to stay alive.