Opinion: In a time where existential crises run rampant, sometimes it is best to start fixing the little things. Let’s start with University Street.

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For the most part, no one has to fear for their lives on campus. Unless they’re on University Street. Twice, my time at UO (and in life generally) has almost come to an end on that wretched street. Once, when I was a young freshman, an unaware truck driver ran into me as they drove down that street. My second brush with death was just a few months ago as an elderly woman barreling down the street almost T-boned my car as I backed out of one of the parking slots.
While I could curse the truck driver and the elderly woman — well, scratch that I already have done that — I think their moral failure is a symptom of a much larger problem. The parking lot on University Street encourages, nay, it practically begs for accidents to happen.
First, we need to identify the problem with the street. Because it is designed as a two-way road, dozens of cars hurtle down both sides as they search for a parking space. Both sides of the street have horizontal parking; cars veer off-direction, their wide turns wheeling them into the oncoming lane as they attempt to fit into a tiny slot before anyone else can. Backing out of the parking spot is even more of a nightmare. One has no view of the street as you reverse because the view is always covered by cars. One can only pray that the hundreds of college students will be attentive and generous as they rush to get on with their days as well. We aren’t.
If you’ve read any of my other pieces, which look to point out racial injustices, class disparities and moral shortcomings on campus and broader society, you may be wondering why I’ve dedicated one of my pieces to a university parking lot. Why is this the hill I die on?
Isn’t it obvious? The University Street parking lot is the physical embodiment of a university’s worst traits! The poor design allows humanity’s worst traits to fester. Our competitive spirit awakens as we try to outsmart our peers in the search for a compact spot to squeeze into. The two-way street that allows drivers to park on either side no matter the direction they drive feeds into our neoliberal desire for efficiency at the expense of safety.
This is no mere parking lot. This is the parking lot equivalent of the Stanford Prison Experiment. This is the bourgeoise neglecting the proletariat, allowing them to fight among themselves — all to leave their car on campus.
Do not take me for some naïve freedom writer. I know it is difficult to convince institutions to abandon chaos for some childish moral desire to protect pedestrians and drivers. I come prepared to feed the power its favorite dish: profits.
While straight parking lots allow drivers to wreak mass havoc to threaten innocent souls like me (twice), they also are incredibly inefficient. Modern spatial analyses reveal that slanted parking slots, calculated to be optimal at a 45 degree angle, allow for efficiency gains of 23%. With slanted parking, the university can make more parking spots. That means dozens of extra spaces and thousands of extra dollars in student fees.
The university can make more money, and dramatically reduce danger on campus as well. A slanted parking space would mean that drivers can only park in the direction they are headed. Cars backing out would have greater visibility as they back out and would take much less time to do so as well. Given that we have not one, but two spaces to make a u-turn on University Street, our driving community should have no trouble taking a little more time out of their day to get to class.

This is a moment of moral failure where safety advocates and ardent capitalists can agree. If UO wants more money, and we know it does, this is a policy change that would appease many on campus. We cannot waste these moments of common ground. If we do, who knows who that belligerent elderly lady will strike next.