Phone “dates,” lengthy e-mails and quick weekend visits can be the cornerstone of long-distance relationships for students. Along with exams, late nights and social events, distance has been known to test the strength of many relationships.
“It’s divine intervention,” sophomore Kim Beeson said.
Beeson and her boyfriend, Reid Holzknecht, have been in a long-distance relationship for more than a year.
“We were kind of forced into it because we weren’t going to the same college, but we knew we wanted to stay together,” she said.
Sophomore Jenna Sutton said the choice to date long-distance usually happens without warning. She and her boyfriend, Aaron Audet, were friends during high school and began their romance shortly before freshman year. After she left for school, they missed each other and decided to try a long-distance relationship.
Even though both relationships were a bit unexpected, both couples agreed the benefits outweigh the costs.
“It is worth it virtually all of the time,” Sutton said. “Even though the long-distance relationship is a lot of work, it is also very fulfilling. I’m a much happier person with Aaron in my life, even if we don’t physically get to see each other.”
As Sutton said, maintaining a long-distance relationship can be difficult.
“The hardest part is not knowing when you are going to see each other next because of conflicting schedules and the cost,” she said.
A love life that consists almost entirely of phone conversations and writing e-mails can strain relationships on a day-to-day basis.
“It is difficult not being a part of each others’ everyday life,” Beeson said. “You wish they could experience the same things as you, like the funny things that happen during your day that they might like, and they aren’t there.”
Many individuals maintain long-distance relationships with the eventual goal of relocating together. Sophomores Shannon Gilman and Matt Rettke
dated long-distance last year until Rettke transferred to the University this fall. Gilman said they lasted because they communicated their future plans well.
“When we started dating, we knew we were just college freshmen,” Gilman said. “Our agreement was if we change while we are apart and still grow together as people then it’s meant to be. If we change and grow apart then we know we’re not meant to be.”
Couples Counseling relationship counselor Cristi Cubito agreed with Gilman. Cubito said she feels a long-distance relationship can be a foundation for a healthy relationship because people have to learn to communicate well and honestly.
“It would be very important for them to learn communication skills,” Cubito said. “They’re really going to need to listen to each other in the most loving way possible.”
She added that mutual respect and good self-esteem are key to successful long-distance relationships.
“It is about being able to talk about what you’re really thinking and feeling and being able to be totally honest with your partner,” she said.
Beeson shared similar sentiments about open communication within a long-distance relationship.
“Make sure you are on the same page and want the same thing,” Beeson said. “Realize it’s gonna take more effort than seeing each other every day. And trust them! And be trustworthy.”