Everyone experiences stress. Some stress can be stimulating and help push us, but excessive stress can cause loss of sleep, mood swings and anxiety. Stress can come from anywhere at any time, but much of the stress that gets put on college students stems from their parents.
When talking to parents about college they like to bring up “the good ol’ days” or “the best time of their lives,” but as sleep-deprived, stressed out college students it can be hard to relate. Nothing really prepares us for what college is actually going to be like until we are fully immersed.
The best years of our life can be complicated with many different issues. Sometimes we are going to need our parents by our sides and sometimes we are going to need them to get out of the way.
Getting good grades in college is one big multi-faceted competition. We are competing against our own laziness, our peers and our parents. College students constantly need to perform week after week because a few wrong moves can cause ten weeks to go down the drain.
Parents can be a great resource for venting all of your problems, but when it comes to schoolwork they can often add unneeded stress. They don’t always realize how they are causing us to feel.
After failing a test I can get pretty hard on myself, but usually I can figure out exactly what I need to do the rest of the term to pass. When telling my parents that I failed a test, they immediately make me feel like there is no way I am going to pass this term unless I lock myself in my room and delete my Netflix account.
We want to get good grades for ourselves so we can get good jobs and have good lives, but sometimes it seems like our parents don’t think so. After three years of phone calls with mom and dad they still act like I am just up at school partying away.
The actual schoolwork is only one portion of college life that can cause stress. Parents like to talk about all the great friends they made in college, but when we are stressed out over a relationship they can act like it is not important because we should only be focused on school. Going through school alone cannot be easy, but stressing over relationships can make it that much harder to focus.
I know that parents are just trying to help and that they have supported us all our lives, but adding stress to an already stressed out college student can have severe consequences.
For those of us that are lucky enough to have our parents still help pay for some portion of our lives, we know the struggle of asking them for money. Every single time it seems like they cannot believe we need more and act like we are just wasting it. Parents often act like it is somehow our fault that textbooks cost so much or that tuition increases year after year. They will never be able to grasp how hard many of us actually do try to save money.
Being away from family is sometimes hard, but what I don’t miss are the family issues. While I do like being informed about what is happening in all my relatives’ lives, I don’t prefer being stressed out about stuff that is going on hundreds of miles away. While at school we cannot really help anyone, so I feel it would be better to inform us of family matters during breaks or at least not around midterms and finals.
If your parents are a positive force in your studying efforts, then use them to your advantage during finals week. If they tend to make things worse, even without trying, maybe let them know you’re excited to see them, but you need some time for yourself to get through your exams.