Have you ever held someone’s hand?
Well, according to Tennessee lawmakers, hand-holding is foreplay. The state’s sex-education laws, which allow only the teaching of abstinence, now include a warning for students about “gateway sexual activity,” which includes (I’m not kidding) hand-holding. Remember that old joke, that kissing can get you pregnant? That isn’t even the bottom line anymore.
Unfortunately, the bill does not specify exactly what “gateway sexual activity” is, though interpreters have decided it means anything that could lead to sex.
If that’s the case, why stop at holding hands? Tennessee education should discourage conversation with opposite gender individuals. In fact, it would probably be best to keep females and males in different rooms. Actually, boyfriends and girlfriends often meet through their schools — the only solution is to outlaw public schooling and require at-home education. No play dates, obviously.
Can you feel the ridiculousness? No? Here’s some more.
In Arizona, some more time-confused legislation is being passed.
Republican governor Jan Brewer signed into law HB 2036, a law that claims that pregnancy begins at a woman’s last menstrual cycle before her egg is fertilized. In the eyes of Arizona law, women can get pregnant up to two weeks before they even have sex. Sounds like more sexual education reform is in order if this is the new reality. @@http://www.governor.state.az.us/@@
Arizona bans abortion 20 weeks after impregnation, and this bill is little more than a loophole to chisel that time limit down to 18 weeks without expressly doing so. @@http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57413630/ariz-gov-signs-bill-with-20-week-abortion-ban/@@
What legislation like the previous two examples proves is that legal definitions are being slowly strangled out of any complexity. It’s difficult to make laws concerning abortion and sex education in the first place, as most of the time-specific situations call for specific actions, but to needlessly broaden these laws, as Tennessee and Arizona have, turns legislation into more of a parody than legitimate and effective lawmaking.
Next thing you know, prenuptial agreements will be handed out with prom invitations. You’ll get a speeding ticket when you buy a car and a DUI when you’re at the bar.
Not every action is a means to an end. Hand-holding is not as sexual as Tennessee thinks it is, and an egg is not a baby. If my science classes have taught me anything, it’s that correlation does not equal causation.
This legislation highlights a disturbing trend of lawmakers attempting to restrict freedoms based on presumed eventualities. By labeled actions and states of being before anything actually comes to fruition, these lawmakers are exerting unnecessary power over the public.
Sure, you can hold hands, but you’re going to have sex if you do. Sure, you can go buy some tampons, but if you plan to have sex at any point this month, you’re pregnant.
Individuals are not idiots, and are capable of making these choices on their own. Is this hand-holding sexual or friendly? Is this unfertilized egg in my womb a baby or not?
It’s not a politician’s place to presume our choices.
Bouchat: US lawmakers miss the difference between correlation and causation
Sam Bouchat
April 13, 2012
0
More to Discover